"If I want it bad enough I can one day score the cover of Cat Fancy."
"Yay!" thinks a moment "You know how if you smile a lot, you can trick you're brain into releasing the chemicals that make you happy and then you really are happy?"
"I'm gonna try it with saying 'yay' to see if it makes it feel like something has happened."
"Karin says it wrong."
"Why because I sound more retarded than you?"
"You never go full retard."
"How's the baby-house?"
"That's baby-castle to you, mister?"
"If you won $1,000 what would you do with it?"
"I'd buy a lot of weed. What about you?"
"I'd throw deli meat in the face of a hooker."
"Remember the song 'Rumpshaker,' I have it going through my head with a French accent."
"Basically, her bill amounts to banning European unicorn porn."
"Jesus and prostitutes, did you say?"
"Yeah, they're like salt n pepper."
I quit. Sort of.
2 days ago