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Friday Quotes

“We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.” E.E. Cummings

"It is dark and there are roaches that try to rape me as I sleep."

"Yeah go on with your big engine. (waves cars on to pass) Go forth and pollute!"

"She's got a public queefing problem. Its cool though, she owns it. I mean she OWNS it. Its happened in meetings and people think she farted, but she lets them know, its a queefing problem."

"queef a bubble
v: to queef a bubble or get upset similar to twisting your panties or throwing a fit aka: q a b "

Obesrve the following excerpt from Flandsa Hasasanba's work:

"The turnip (Brassica rapa var. rapa) is a root vegetable commonly grown in temperate climates worldwide for its white, bulbous taproot. Small, tender, varieties are grown for human consumption, while larger varieties are grown as feed for livestock."

And compare it to the following uncannily similar Predator Press quote:

"Fat tourists should not tan in temperate climates worldwide. Their pasty, white bulbous flesh should not be exposed to human eyes under any circumstances. Larger varieties should be used strictly as feed for livestock."


"I love that you used the word Fiduciary."
"We're not going to use that word in this organization though right."
"We could have an accountant and call the person the fidouchebag."

"I'm pregnant and it was because of sex."

"How much sex do you have to have to have a queefing problem?"

"Can you put queefing on the agenda?"

"There's gonna be some shits and fuckins around."

"I just kicked myself with your foot."

"He's got like hate mail and hate sites about him."
"Shit, that's how you know you're doing a good job."


"Actually, her mom’s in the hospital, and I just suck at getting children ready rapidly. In fact, I can nearly guarantee we’ll be late tomorrow. Perhaps you should be proactive and fill out the top part of tomorrow’s tardy slip for us."

Comments

  1. Thanks for the quote props today! Can't believe I actually said that to a school employee yesterday.

    ReplyDelete
  2. 'Twas a productive meeting.
    MQA, baby.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I used to be a teacher and that would have more than excused tardies in my class.
    I think MQA might deserve a posting of its own.

    ReplyDelete

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"You may be unusually energetic today because your key planet Venus received an unexpected wake-up call from electrifying Uranus." "Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people you've never met--all of a sudden you take pride in accomplishments you had no part in whatsoever... " -Doug Stanhope "Drink that, DENVER!" Quiz Results: You are 48% mean "Is the junk yard dog losing her bite?" "Weak!" "F you Karin--your pretty face is going to HELL!" "Yeah it is, I might have had to spit on a homeless person but I got 67%" At the fireworks- "Where would patriotism be without the Chinese?" "The phrase 'I'm not racist but...' should just be replaced with 'I'm racist AND...'" "12 million homeowners and investors will be "underwater"--owing more than their property is worth." "I prefer up-side-down. Makes people sound like they've gone face...