Skip to main content

Friday Quotes

Which one? Ninjas or nazis?

Piece of old pizza wrapped in a wal-mart bag. It either has olives or mold on it...I can't tell. I think it bit me.

"The world is a cruel place where kindness festoons in small pustules where cruelty has trapped it." -klm

"Beer and kitten- what more could you want?"

"It was really scary. I like kinda peed in my pants a little almost."

"He used to come and flirt with me all the time. He was like 60"
"Well, it won't be long till you got his money..."

"There's a girl I work with and she's got a problem I don't like to hear about."
"I'm guessing it has to do with the queefa."

"On a small scale I enable my sister to be an asshole at all times."

"I try not to worry what other people think too much but I feel kinda funny looking through the women's parts at the thrift store."

"I don't want to hear about anything that makes me think about men's assholes. Especially anything that makes me think about them flapping in the wind. Seriously, if they're making that whheeeewwwwwww noise, yech."
Labels:

Comments

  1. meOctober 3, 2008 at 10:49 AM

    "The world is a cruel place where kindness festoons in small pustules where cruelty has trapped it." -klm

    Love it. sorry I missed you guys last night. I thought we weren't meeting. It was a bit confusing. I need an update...
    :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Friday Quotes! The GAME

Introducing *drumroll please* Friday Quotes: The Game Apparently people play this game in their heads when they read this anyway so here's your chance to make it interactive. Guess who said each quote. You can post your answers in the comments. The person with the most correct answers gets.... the joy of being right. What? I don't paid for this blog, so you'll have to find self satisfaction wherever you can. Let the Games Begin! 1. "She's so dumb she thinks 'soy milk' is Spanish for 'I am milk'." 2. "Yeah... I didn't sit next to him on spaghetti day." 3. “Its just like when you don’t think about something, you know, and then you think about something.” 4. "What, you're my fucking mom? What, you shat me out of your womb?" 5. “I just had all of this emotion, and it burst forth from my face.” 6. “Chances are if you're reading it and you think its Heath, its probably Heath.” 7. “He drinks whiskey, or Izze, or l...
14 comments
Read more

Past tense

I work with this really kickass lawyer. She's been all crazy over this guy lately. He worked for probation. Past tense. Did you see it? Over the weekend he killed himself. Enter past tense, the unwelcome jerk. And I feel soooo terrible. And guilty. Because I tried it to. I talked about it a little in this post . Try #17 and on. That's where I talk about it. A little. And now when someone kills themselves, I feel guilty. Like what I did when I was 17 somehow makes me responsible for everyone who ever does it. Like because I tried it, I should know how to fix it. But there are tons of recovering drug addicts that can't tell you how to get sober. There are great thinkers that can't explain their ideas. And the fact is, no one can explain suicide.
6 comments
Read more

Friday Quotes!

"You may be unusually energetic today because your key planet Venus received an unexpected wake-up call from electrifying Uranus." "Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people you've never met--all of a sudden you take pride in accomplishments you had no part in whatsoever... " -Doug Stanhope "Drink that, DENVER!" Quiz Results: You are 48% mean "Is the junk yard dog losing her bite?" "Weak!" "F you Karin--your pretty face is going to HELL!" "Yeah it is, I might have had to spit on a homeless person but I got 67%" At the fireworks- "Where would patriotism be without the Chinese?" "The phrase 'I'm not racist but...' should just be replaced with 'I'm racist AND...'" "12 million homeowners and investors will be "underwater"--owing more than their property is worth." "I prefer up-side-down. Makes people sound like they've gone face...
3 comments
Read more