Friday Quotes

Friday Quotes: The Game.

Guess who said each quote. You can post your answers in the comments. The person with the most correct answers gets.... the joy of being right. What? I don't paid for this blog, so you'll have to find self satisfaction wherever you can.

There will be awards for most correct, funniest guess, and dirtiest lie.

1. "I'd really like to see Michael Jackson leap from the 10 meter platform, and get judged on how well he grabs his crotch before he hits the water at 25 mph, and breaks 14 bones in his pretend face."

2. "More on this turmoil as I make it up."

3. "My favorite part of the henna experience is how your hair smells like, to use a British term, 'fag ends' for a week. Fag ends and teabags."

4. Status update-"...thinks some women have accessory babies just so they can be MILFs."

5. “After Daddy kissed Snow White on the cheek, she awoke from the evil Queen’s spell, completed her education, and began her medical practice with the celibate man she met as a resident. And they lived happily ever after, just down the path from Prince Daddy. The End.”

6. "My nipples are like the sensational confetti of my body!"

7. "What the fuck, Karin? I spent the last 15 minutes fuckin with everyone's plants."

8. Correction/Addition to last week
"Somebody should name a brewery after the dam. It could be The Dam Brewery. And they could make a bunch of Dam Beer."
"Then you could get a dam job there."
"Ha, if someone blew it up, it'd be a dam shame."

9. "It smells like grampa took a dump in this elevator. No one should be in here for 35 to 45 minutes."

10. "And what was your point?"
"I'm a woman. I don't have to have a purpose to speak."

11. "He's outa here and that's fine with me."
"Wait, aren't your ovaries all aflutter? You wanna make babies, why is that good?"
(As waiter gives us our food.)

12. "Will you look up a word for me? Its p-a-n-a-c-e-a."
"That's the landmass with *gestures fingers intertwining to show altogether*... wait, that's pangea." *hangs head* "Yes, I will."