"Well, what fresh hell is this now?"
"Feeding infants vitamins is like buying pee. They might as well just pee money."
"Watch out. You're going to raise this kid to be some gangsta rapper who's going to rap about peeing money on girls."
"My four year old has a special name for her “private area” and somehow she decided it was called a “Tootie”. Being an avid watcher of Facts of Life, this disturbs me."
"On a scale of 1 to 10, that sucks."
"when I was little, I thought that mermaid vaginas were in their belly button."
"Great. Hope you're happy. You're kids will be living in beds of yogurt cups."
Audience Participation Quote
"That's the most ridiculous voicemail message I've ever heard. She said _________________. Who leaves that?"
"Feeding infants vitamins is like buying pee. They might as well just pee money."
"Watch out. You're going to raise this kid to be some gangsta rapper who's going to rap about peeing money on girls."
"My four year old has a special name for her “private area” and somehow she decided it was called a “Tootie”. Being an avid watcher of Facts of Life, this disturbs me."
"On a scale of 1 to 10, that sucks."
"when I was little, I thought that mermaid vaginas were in their belly button."
"Great. Hope you're happy. You're kids will be living in beds of yogurt cups."
Audience Participation Quote
"That's the most ridiculous voicemail message I've ever heard. She said _________________. Who leaves that?"
She left this voicemail, "Hi, it's me again. I have nothing to say to you. I think I have...a wrong number, but if I just hung up you might see my number on your ID and call me and then I'd forget that I called you and not answer the phone because I wouldn't recognize the number. And then you might try me again and I would call you back wondering why you called me several times. So I hope you have a good day whoever you are and don't call me. Unless you are Carol or she's there or something. God bless. Carol call your mother!
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