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Friday Quotes!

"Well I didn't want to walk in on your boobies"

"thought my lesbian neighbor wanted to jump my bones in the laundry room. Turns out lesbians just really like pajama pants."

"You're like a tornado of bullshit right now. We'll talk again after your bullshit dies out over someone else's house."

"The little engine that tried to do it but couldn’t and then later he found out that when he was born they weren’t sure if he was a train or a tractor so the doctor just made him into a train because that was easier but turns out? Totally a tractor."

"The bible is the world's longest game of telephone."

"I always try to see if I can get people to hold their breath through a tunnel. No one ever makes it through the Eisenhower Tunnel."
"I wanna see if Michael Phelps can hold it through the Eisenhower Tunnel."
"I wanna see if Michael Phelps can take a bong rip and hold it through th Eisenhower Tunnel."

Comments

  1. With that lung capacity, who's paying for the stash??
    mja

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Bible is the world's longest game of telephone! How true! I've been wrestling with my strict Christian upbringing coupled with the school where I teach now vs. the logical, rational reality. They just don't match! It's a dilemma that I've been trying to sort out for a while now. This quote on your post just put it into a simplistic bit and it completely makes sense! Thank you!

    ReplyDelete

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"You may be unusually energetic today because your key planet Venus received an unexpected wake-up call from electrifying Uranus." "Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people you've never met--all of a sudden you take pride in accomplishments you had no part in whatsoever... " -Doug Stanhope "Drink that, DENVER!" Quiz Results: You are 48% mean "Is the junk yard dog losing her bite?" "Weak!" "F you Karin--your pretty face is going to HELL!" "Yeah it is, I might have had to spit on a homeless person but I got 67%" At the fireworks- "Where would patriotism be without the Chinese?" "The phrase 'I'm not racist but...' should just be replaced with 'I'm racist AND...'" "12 million homeowners and investors will be "underwater"--owing more than their property is worth." "I prefer up-side-down. Makes people sound like they've gone face...