Skip to main content
Ever notice how midgets on TV are only in entertainment. They're actors or porn stars or wrestlers. No midgets are just boring accountants or childcare providers or bank tellers. So I started thinking, "What job lends itself well to being a midget?" And the answer I came up with is, tailor for hemming and midwife for baby catching. In both cases the height thing would be a real advantage.

In other news, did you know you could spell tepees "tipis." I want to pronounce that tea piss. Which I think makes a good urban dictionary word for the dribble of pee men don't bother to wipe off the end of their wangs when they pee. Or a midget dingle.

Happy Hump Day, ya'll!

Comments

  1. AnonymousDecember 8, 2010 at 9:39 PM

    Your curiosity made me Google midget employment.

    Rent-a-Midget is currently seeking little people for employment in the fields of catering and party services. Activities can include, but are not limited to: midget tossing, midget wait staff, and midget strip shows.

    http://www.rent-a-midget.com/jobs.htm

    I am not sure about tossing a midget or stripping 'em,...
    (what's to see?) but as waiter or waitress, they would be unintrusive, if they could carry the goblets of water.

    Never leave a midget tip though.
    They work hard.

    Midgets could also do TSA work, staring at naked traveler images, or doing pat downs.

    School busses should hire midgets too to drive the kids. Midgets would fit right in with their riders.

    Like alligators, midgets run far faster than you would expect. So never yell at one:
    "Midget Midget You're a midget".

    He will chase you and catch you!
    But I don't know what else he would do.
    Maybe a small lecture.

    As for wang dribble, most guys just give it the hokey-pokey and shake it all about! One proceeds thereafter, drip free, but ready to perk.

    Check the front of his underwear if you have doubts. This could be a dating dealbreaker to see yellow in the front.

    And I am getting tired of seeing the gals in our urinals. Who wants to hokey pokey their wang drip with this around??

    http://www.ipeedhere.com/2010/11/back-splash-2-the-sequel/

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Friday Quotes! The GAME

Introducing *drumroll please* Friday Quotes: The Game Apparently people play this game in their heads when they read this anyway so here's your chance to make it interactive. Guess who said each quote. You can post your answers in the comments. The person with the most correct answers gets.... the joy of being right. What? I don't paid for this blog, so you'll have to find self satisfaction wherever you can. Let the Games Begin! 1. "She's so dumb she thinks 'soy milk' is Spanish for 'I am milk'." 2. "Yeah... I didn't sit next to him on spaghetti day." 3. “Its just like when you don’t think about something, you know, and then you think about something.” 4. "What, you're my fucking mom? What, you shat me out of your womb?" 5. “I just had all of this emotion, and it burst forth from my face.” 6. “Chances are if you're reading it and you think its Heath, its probably Heath.” 7. “He drinks whiskey, or Izze, or l...
14 comments
Read more

Past tense

I work with this really kickass lawyer. She's been all crazy over this guy lately. He worked for probation. Past tense. Did you see it? Over the weekend he killed himself. Enter past tense, the unwelcome jerk. And I feel soooo terrible. And guilty. Because I tried it to. I talked about it a little in this post . Try #17 and on. That's where I talk about it. A little. And now when someone kills themselves, I feel guilty. Like what I did when I was 17 somehow makes me responsible for everyone who ever does it. Like because I tried it, I should know how to fix it. But there are tons of recovering drug addicts that can't tell you how to get sober. There are great thinkers that can't explain their ideas. And the fact is, no one can explain suicide.
6 comments
Read more

Friday Quotes!

"You may be unusually energetic today because your key planet Venus received an unexpected wake-up call from electrifying Uranus." "Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people you've never met--all of a sudden you take pride in accomplishments you had no part in whatsoever... " -Doug Stanhope "Drink that, DENVER!" Quiz Results: You are 48% mean "Is the junk yard dog losing her bite?" "Weak!" "F you Karin--your pretty face is going to HELL!" "Yeah it is, I might have had to spit on a homeless person but I got 67%" At the fireworks- "Where would patriotism be without the Chinese?" "The phrase 'I'm not racist but...' should just be replaced with 'I'm racist AND...'" "12 million homeowners and investors will be "underwater"--owing more than their property is worth." "I prefer up-side-down. Makes people sound like they've gone face...
3 comments
Read more