Things I'm snotty about:
- using a picture of your kid or your dog or your cat as an avatar. I want to see a picture of you. Sometimes it helps me know who the hell is talking online. I like pictures of other things and I look at them. In albums.
- posting annoying status updates. Writing a status update in all caps never SOLVED ANY CAUSE. ever. There's no one who no longer has cancer and no animal with a new home with updated vaccines because you changed your picture to a cartoon and wrote about it on FB. If you want to help, find an organization/child/pet and donate time and money. And I mean both.
- trends. I tend to like them for 10 minutes but as soon as I see them happening over and over, I hate whatever it is. See snuggies, when fiction writer's main character is a writer, smartphones, blog awards, robot vocals, etc.
- Twilight. I'm sure its very addictive or whatever. I just think you should be ashamed of your addictions. (see also Grey's Anatomy. I am ashamed. Its trash.)
Things I'm NOT snotty about
- What you wear. I probably won't notice. If I do, its because its awesome. Or what you're saying is boring. Just kidding, I won't notice your clothes if you're boring. I'll notice something behind you. I almost never notice clothes. I once had a kid in my class wear the same jeans for weeks, until another teacher brought it up, I didn't notice. The same often goes for facial hair. Unless you've always had a beard, like the whole time I've known you, and you suddenly shave it off. Otherwise, your change from a goatee to a full beard or whatever, I won't know.
- jokes. I really like dumb jokes. If you're trying to be funny and I like you even a little, I'll laugh. I encourage silliness of all sorts.
-skiing. Believe it or not, I'm not snotty about this. If you're out sliding on snow and you're having fun. Great! I don't care if you suck or not, if you love the sport, I want to hug you. Unless you suck about other stuff like throwing cigarette butts on my mountains. That makes me mean. Seriously, when I was like 19, I told a guy off in front of his kids on the mountain. Who the hell throws cigarette butts out here?
-what kind of car you drive. We have an '89 4runner that you can start with a screwdriver and that has its license plates tied on with a strand of carpet that unwound from our old place. I love/hate that car. I don't really like el caminos though. Although now that I think about the meaning of el camino, I think its pretty funny. Ok, not snotty about those anymore either. Unless you drive a gas guzzler, and then I'm all judgy.
I quit. Sort of.
2 days ago