Wrap your head with this material...

During the last election there was an event for the Democratic candidates at our local office. Senator Ken Salazar, now Secretary of the Interior, was to be there. It was a big event. Multiple people had brought items to contribute to the serve yourself, margarita bar. Now, I should mention that I don't normally drink margaritas and I don't have much of an alcohol tolerance. Also, I don't know how to make a margarita. That will become evident shortly. So, I stand in front of this bar, shrug and start throwing shit in a glass. I plopped a couple of ice cubes in, dump in some margarita mix and then some tequila. Seems harmless enough, right? I look around for lime or anything else fancy I'm supposed to do, shrug and start drinking it. "Wow its strong." I think. So I try to drink it fast to make it go away. Well, apparently the mix already had tequila in it. So next thing you know, I'm talking to the Speaker of the Colorado House, Andrew Romanoff...

I think I've hit my sexual peak. Know how I know? Cuz while watching Eddie Murphy's Delirious for the first time in like 20 years, I practically licked the screen. What the hell? In case you've forgotten Delirious, its standup with Eddie Murphy from 1983 . This is what he's wearing Tight. Red. Leather. Gross, right? I thought so too. At a minimum, its tacky and silly and should NOT make any straight woman my age think of sex. Then he turned around and I totally wanted to maow on his butt. Did I mention he's 22 in this video? Not only am I gross, but I'm also a perv aparently. And that's how you know: Sexual Peak. Welcome to 30. P.S. You should netflix it if you haven't seen Delirious in a while, cuz its funny. Really, really.

I was just going to post this story but then I needed a Weirdo this week, so I decided to make this it. There's this chiropractor girl we know and I've always found her a bit annoying but the 4th of July she was just an epic fail of a person. She arrived wearing this ridiculous 80's outfit. Now, I'm not much for fashion or giving a shit about what people wear, but she clearly went to great length on this look so I'm going to judge it now. She was wearing purple tight jeans, an 80's striped belly shirt, and a head band ala Willie Nelson although on her it looked more Robert Plant somehow. She was also wearing a fanny pack, which I'll give her she had a very practical explanation for so I'll leave that alone. Except, no I won't because it was white leather. Frost that look with some feather jewelry and tooth bling and you've got a LOOK. Which brings me to the beginning of the failure. This twat went up to my friends' little girl, Tempest...