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Friday Quotes

For the record I love Sesame Street, but I love jokes more.

"G supposes you think it's funny that she had hot sauce on her finger and then picked her nose."


"If you wear tights all day and have a date that night, for the love of god, WASH YOUR FUCKING VAGINA."


"It's hard to write about sex when your daughter is reading an Archie McPhee catalog & prattling on about zombies & yodeling pickles"


"Happy Anniversary Sesame Street! Cheers to 40 years of having a hand up your ass."
"Happy 40th Sesame Street! Hope the cops don't getcha for drinking a 40 on your 40th. Maybe you could pay that green homeless guy to be your lookout."
""...happy 40th birthday Sesame St! That bird isn't getting any bigger. I say we eat him now!"


"A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence."

"I’m sorry. I’d reply in more detail, but I’m masturbating to Bea Arthur…"


"The only way to replace awesomeness is with more awesomeness."

"I got 2 days of work done this morning. I got paid for 20 hours all before going skiing at noon! How sweet is that?"
"Ah, its good bein' white, huh?"
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Comments

  1. Kendra HollidayNovember 14, 2009 at 5:38 AM

    Wow this is so awesome!

    I love that someone is taking note of my cleverness. :)

    Onward and upward!

    ReplyDelete

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