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Yom Kippur- Atoning for Assumptions

I took a full time teaching job. Yesterday in a meeting we were discussing how to address homework for the upcoming Jewish high holidays.

I have challenged many assumptions that I grew up with in the realm of education. But sometimes, I just reach back and assume the way things were handled for me was fine.

I blurted out, "the school I grew up in was 1/3 Jewish and honors classes were empty on high holidays but those kids were expected to turn their homework in on time."

I went to an extremely academic high school and the competition for grades was fierce. There was a lot of diversity and my whole adulthood I've been grateful for that experience. It's very grounding in why you don't just assume things at Christmas or why you should consider other perspectives.

I'm still feeling out the new school I work at. Last week, a teacher complained that a student expected homework excused/extended because it had been the student's birthday. She was clearly annoyed and yet, my internal response was, "it's a kid who went to school on a birthday. No homework." I didn't say that though. I knew to shut up. Yet, a high holiday didn't rank the same way in my knee jerk reaction. I settled on telling her I didn't expect my son to go to school on his birthday because he got beat up at school on his birthday in second grade. We moved on.

The room's response to my comment about the high holiday homework was to hold its collective breath, ignore my insensitivity and move on. Should we grant automatic extensions as one person suggested? How many students are impacted another asked. Finally it was agreed that we'd grant extensions to anyone who asked. A faculty member asked how the holidays are celebrated and we had a side chat about it.

I was off from the group on this and knew that they'd been right. I agreed to the solution too eagerly.

I woke up repeatedly last night, ruing my initial reaction.

In high school, I assumed the kids at school didn't care about their religion. I assumed they were having a grand time being off school at the beginning of the year. Their religion, when I was young, was too foreign, too abstract, to realize their experience, to imagine a different religious and cultural reflection.

Tonight begins Yom Kippur. I am not Jewish now, anymore than I was in high school. But I'd like to think I've grown in the empathy department. I've certainly attained more knowledge than I had 20 years ago. Yom Kippur is when Jews atone. So in the spirit of that. I reflect on my own assumptions and biases. I know that I was wrong yesterday. My whole life as a student, my family's biggest holiday, Christmas, the our whole community, our whole country has no school. There is no homework. There are 2 weeks to play and be together. And yet, another community barely gets a day for theirs.

I owe an apology. Reflection is due to every creed and group. Of course any student who asks gets an extension. Respectfully, there should be no other way.

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