Skip to main content

Mornings, Nights, & Self Destruction

In the quiet before everyone wakes, when all the options are not yet selected and the day is empty fill-in-the-blanks, I taste time, a sip at a time from my mug, cream, the dregs reheated, the last sip has three granules in it and I can swallow past them, ignore the grit of my life, or I can bite down into the bitter.

I reheated it in the microwave and the cup didn't get too hot, nor did the coffee have swirls of too-cool. The day wasn't bright enough to call me to move yet. The keyboard made me want to clack clack. I didn't want to share the disgust of my nights, dreadful fits of near-strangers entering my dreams, trying to pry their way into today's storyline.

By night when I give up the blanks and fall to sleep, I'm occasionally stabby with self-destruction. It's not that I want to hurt myself, exactly, as much as I want the oily black guck of the day and all that has gotten on my soul by then out, off, drained, emptied. The muck= the story of a jogger attacked and murdered by racist, would-be vigilantes. The virus and the inability to know what is next for us, the inability to plan an escape route from a thing I can't quite make out. The way relationships get stale and I'm not sure when to toss them but there seems to be a cabinet full of bread that can't sustain me. The repeated failure to write and write well. The Grief, an undercurrent of failure throughout my day,. And why does this grief feel like failure at all? Her death was certainly not my fault-- a heart attack-- not something I had a thing to do with. Her death was months ago. What does it have to do with the failures of this day? The initial grief, it was an arresting stab awakening me lightning sharp from a deep sleep, panic pouring moonlight over me as though it were a fire left smoldering and my whole life was in flames upon waking. That panic lingers as a thread of grief and regret. So at night it festers, a poisonous body cavity.

When I go to try and sleep, I wonder if I set up the wrong form. I think of the ways I should have written a different day and the self-destruction is upon me. I sometimes fall asleep imagining stabbing myself, slashing daggers through my abdomen and chest, repeatedly stabbing the hatred and failure out of myself. Maybe destruction is a kind of instinct for self-purification. Maybe it is a drive to get rid of the bad and it accidentally cuts out the good, like a self-administered chemotherapy, designed to kill all but the best of us, but sometimes taking long trusses of golden hair and the healthy glow of our pallor, leaving us spent and pallid.

I didn't understand vampires when I was younger. I felt myself this whole big glorious self, so why would I turn my throat toward evil? Why would I let anyone suck out my life? Why would I serve some other evil, instead of my own whim? I knew my own pulse beat and planned to follow it.

But right at the onset of middle age now, when I understand regret better, not that I did not live as myself or do things worth doing, but that there are now paths not travelled that trail behind me, I understand the desire to destroy myself. To hand over my vulnerable neck, to lean back and offer my worst, here, you take it! No, really, please take it. I can't hold my head up anymore anyway. And perhaps in sucking all the life out of me, the chemotherapy self-destruction will work and I'll be left with a single blossom and a set of directions. I understand the desire to give in and let drugs take you, let evil have you.

What of serving a master? For the simple desire to think less and do more.
"What do you want me to do?" 
Ok. I'm fast. It's done.
And here is my neck for the next round.
"Yes, what now?"
More of the same. Alright. Proceed. I did that too.
You write the form for me, choose my clothes, tell me what to do next time.

But night is a long way off. This is a morning and a cloudy one too. And I'm grateful for cloudy mornings, the way my sunshine thoughts that had darted around for too-excited long, begin to settle amid the dust and grime of real life and I slow and think and write.

I don't hate my ugly and the piercing rumination of night is a long way off.

This morning, I breathe clouds and my pulse beats. I bite into the most bitter of all granules. And you know what? The aftertaste is sweet.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Dear Book Pimp

So I wrote this book and I think it's pretty decent. That's the feedback I'm getting anyway, which is bitchin' really since I have a degree in Education, NOT writing. Plus, this is my first try, so really I should be happy, right? But, turns out writing the book is maybe the easy part. The publishing is another story. You have to find a Literary Agent. To do this, you have to write a 1-3 page letter to many literary agents to convince them to read a sample chapter. Send it with a Self addressed stamped envelope (SASE) and wait. there's more but I'm already experiencing a high level anxiety just writing about this part. In my letter, I'm supposed to explain who I am, what my book's about, why I'm qualified to write it, why its sicky illy good, who'll read it, and on and on. AHHHHHhhhhh! This shit scares me. Also, I'm supposed to be witty, clever, literary, and junk. Oh and explain a 300 page book in a sales pitch. I'm not a frea...

Home birth- The real fuckin deal

So the end of pregnancy is for the fuckin birds. I'm sure plenty of you out there know this. There's nothing to say but that you're sick of being pregnant. You're a little sick of the sweet smiles and knowing looks from strangers. You're just all over sick of it. You're spectacularly sick of the: when's your due date how far are you are you having a boy or a girl I bet you're sick of this what hospital are you going to, conversations. You miss when people used to ask about the soccer game you played or the book you're reading. You're sick of swollen handsfeetfaceneckanklesEVERYTHING. Oh and from the beginning of pregnancy until FRIDAY, I had NO stretch marks. Friday my entire lower abdomen erupted into one. giant. stretch mark. So all weekend, I thought, please let this be over soon. Every cramp I felt I welcomed and thought, "whatever work my body does now, it doesn't have to do during labor." Little did I know how much ...

Having Babies at Home

My whole life, I've heard the story of my cousin Anna's birth. And her sister's too. But I hear more about Anna's. My aunt didn't exactly have a lot of love for the medical profession. And her first baby had been a horrible experience. She'd had him wrenched from her at least as much as she "gave him up" for adoption by nursing staff who leered at her and called her unpleasant names. And she loved him when he was born. And she found him when he turned 18 and loved him till the day she died. When she had kids for keeps, she did it differently. She read books and assigned duties and had them at home. She was brave and surely faced many people who disagreed with her decision. But she stuck by her convictions and her desire for a natural birth and won 2 beautiful girls. My mom was there when Anna was born. So was her sister, Kristina. They both still get this sparkle in their eyes whenever they talk about it. My mom says it was one of the most ...