"is dreaming of a better world...where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned"
"Hoping that chocolate makes everything better. The last week of 2009 can kiss my ass."
"New Years Eve and April Fools Day should switch since most resolutions are a joke anyway."
"WOOF! Where's he been all my life?"
"Um, in the cradle."
"If you have a girl, someday she'll get a pearl necklace."
"I'm sure she will."
Matt- "A while back, Juno just jumped in the lap of the cable guy." (the cat)
Dad- "I did that once."
"If Tiger Woods comes back to golf again, he's going to have to change his name to Cheetah."