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Pull Ups by Mr. Universe

I was in a meeting this morning and got sidetracked and told the director of Social Services that I'm creeped out by body builders. (sorry if you're a body builder, but you're orange and greasy and I just don't get it.) Then I side tracked myself further by saying that I'm creeped out, BUT I would really like to do a pull up on one of their arms. You know while they've got it all flexed in the air? My coworker pointed out that it would be slippery because of all the baby oil and I told her "That's part of the challenge, Wendy." I'm totally getting promoted.

Except now when I searched for pictures of bodybuilders to add some sparkle to this lurvely post, I picked this picture.

bodybuilder

Which totally made me remember that there are black bodybuilders too who could not possibly be made orange and now I'm racist. Shit. I'm sorry to black bodybuilders everywhere. You are not as creepy as white bodybuilders which is still probably racist but in your favor so maybe we could work something out. I just want to do a pull up on your arm. But not now. I'm pregnant and probably can't do a pull up now. But if I could and did it on your knotty, slimey arm, it would be the most bitchin thing ever.

This is more racist, but are there Asian bodybuilders? I just can't picture it. So I googled it and there are.

asian bodybuilders

And they're so much scarier than orange or black bodybuilders. Scarier than clowns even. Only without any of the added perks of clowns like baloon animals and funny dogs or tiny cars that baloon animals, clowns, and dogs come out of. Get it together, Asian bodybuilders!
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  1. SparkleFarkelMay 29, 2010 at 7:17 AM

    Shiny wads of body with sticky-outy veins put me on the sick end, too. The only thing creepier than a Speedoed body builder is a woman body builder in a bikini! Unfortunately, most of them have arms too short to do chin-ups on.

    Hey, doesn't that first image in your blog look sort of like a handlebar moustache?

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