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Between Families Between Families
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ratings: 8 (avg rating 4.75)

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Having Babies at Home

My whole life, I've heard the story of my cousin Anna's birth. And her sister's too. But I hear more about Anna's.

My aunt didn't exactly have a lot of love for the medical profession. And her first baby had been a horrible experience. She'd had him wrenched from her at least as much as she "gave him up" for adoption by nursing staff who leered at her and called her unpleasant names. And she loved him when he was born. And she found him when he turned 18 and loved him till the day she died.

When she had kids for keeps, she did it differently. She read books and assigned duties and had them at home. She was brave and surely faced many people who disagreed with her decision. But she stuck by her convictions and her desire for a natural birth and won 2 beautiful girls.

My mom was there when Anna was born. So was her sister, Kristina. They both still get this sparkle in their eyes whenever they talk about it. My mom says it was one of the most beautiful things she's ever seen. Kristina says it was probably the best day of her life. She was 7; that says a lot. Rarely does a family gathering go by without mention of their births. It was that memorable and beautiful and peaceful.

So when I found out I was pregnant, I wanted to have a homebirth too. I know there are family members and friends who love this idea and who are scared about it too. But we did our homework. It is not scary, or dangerous. At least not statistically. Especially not compared to our nearly 1/3 of births in hospitals being C-sections. I'm not high risk in any way. The neurologist officially cleared me of the one risk factor we were worried about saying that I no longer have seizures and that he would grant me the same risk of a seizure during birth as a person who has never had one.

My husband took more time coming to the decision than I did. Some girls picture their wedding day long before the groom arrives into their lives. I dreamt of having babies long before that was a possibility. And I want to have my baby at home. With the smells of my baby's home and the sights and the calm and the lighting and the obnoxious dog and the kitchen and bathroom and all the things that are ours. I don't want hospital shoes and whites and germs down the hall or epidurals or antibiotic infused products. I just want my husband, my midwife, me and the baby. Not necessarily in that order.

I don't believe in god. I don't not believe in god either. Its just not my thing. I like the adage "God?: I don't know and you don't either." But I think thoughts and prayers and meditations (I almost wrote "medications", funny,) have power. They certainly never hurt anyone. I think when a group of people puts positive energy toward something, it has impact.

So in that spirit, I'm asking people to send white candles with a prayer, or intention, or meditation, or thought with it for a healthy, safe, home birth. I like it for the energy it'll surround us with and the reminder of the support. Plus, it'll be pretty to give birth in a candle lit room, I think. I'll let you know how it goes.

9 comments:

Gina said...

Cool! Email me your address?

My friend Sara Beth recently had a successful home birth. She wrote about it in great detail. Want me to send a link to it?

Silly Swedish Skier Says So said...

YES! Link please.

Gina said...

Here!
http://www.birthingright.com/BirthingRight/Home-Birth-Stories/Entries/2009/12/6_The_Birth_Story_of_Virginia_Elizabeth.html

Anonymous said...

Here is another link to home birth that will encourage you in its simplicity and beauty.

http://greeneggsandfam.blogspot.com/2010/03/this-is-story-of-our-natural-home-birth.html

I am a firm believer in the candle prayer as well. I light them at birth, and at death.

I accept your honesty at God/God??
but my own belief is GOD!
He is light and Creator to me.
The candle is a marvelous idea to invite His light and His Creation of your child together.

Many blessings to you and your family. The best is yet to be!

C. Andres Alderete said...

Sounds like your husband is on board now but there is a GREAT documentary call The Business of Being Born that I highly recommend if you don't already know about it. I streamed it on Netflix but you can probably pick it up somewhere.

Lora said...

all of my pagan vibes and voodoo well wishes to you and the little one from now until forever.

good on you for doing it at home! i'm so proud of you!

and anonymous, don't be ashamed to put your name with your beliefs!
it's okay that you believe in god.

Anonymous said...

Lora,

Blessings to you on your thoughts.
I used to read your blog, but at times, it goes in paths I just don't travel. In fact, I think I found this blog through yours long ago.

I am a firm believer in using my name, and also a firm believer in God. It is more than okay as you note, it is essential for eternal life...a debate I care not to enter in a post on having a baby-at-home.

I quietly follow Swedish Skier and her less than placid life, and it is pleasing to see joy enter her equation for a time.

A Creator is involved in her joy....and mine.

Posting anonymous in this case has nothing to do with shame.
I express my belief in God often online, and in my name always, this post excepted.

Here, there is a reason that I chose anonymous, for the first time ever, and it is not for shame, but out of wisdom in a way no one would dream, connect, or discern.

There is far more to the reason than I care to write; but it is a correct choice,and at the same time,allowed me to share the link of a great home birth, and the success of that child and family.

I respect Swedish Skier on God/ God?? as well as your apparent decision to dismiss Him in your life. That is what free will is all about.

When it comes to His perfect love, if He has to force you to love Him, your love is not genuine.
But with free will, those who choose Him, do so out of genuine love, not imitation. It doesn't get any better than that! Ever!

The two will one day be separated in the end, and genuine love will remain forever in Light.

I do not seek to convert; I am responsible for my own free will and choice to love our God.
Fortunately, He knows precisely who I am, and precisely why I chose to post anonymous.

I do want to clarify that shame does not enter the equation.
I will suffice it to say that it is a small world after all, much smaller than you, Lora, would believe. It was the right choice for me at this post.

I am grateful to you for noting my belief in God, and your approval at that as well. He and I are very close.

Best wishes to you, Lora, as well as the new baby and the family who will love this child.....forever.

Tammy said...

Sending lots of white candles. I had a home birth, too.

Silly Swedish Skier Says So said...

Tammy- Thanks! Any advice?