Skip to main content

Friday Quotes!

"The base area for one of North America's best ski spots, Silverton Mtn. One chairlift, the "lodge" is an army-style tent, the "rental shop" is an old school bus wedged in the snow, and avalanche beacons are required. Suck on that fur coats and martinis."

"If I have to pull up my big girl panties and deal with it one more time the elastic is going to break and I really will have to show my ass!"

"Its groggy with a 70% chance of sleepies this afternoon... I think I just ate the sticker on my fruit"

"So realized all my maternity clothes are black. Clearly being pregnant has made me a ninja."
"now that's something i'd like to see, Look Out!! it's the Pregnant Panther!! she'll strangle you with the umbilical cord!!!"

"A long time ago in a galaxy Favre, Favre away."

"The last combat unit left Iraq today. I am officially no longer fighting a war. I'm not sure what I'm fighting, but I'm definitely fighting something."
"Its a re-branding dispute. Our culture's dumb sometimes. Or maybe its a cold. You could definitely be fighting a cold."
"It's Operation New Dawn. I think we're fighting vampires"

"My cat does unholy things to captured crickets."

Labels

Labels:

Comments

  1. BubbaAugust 20, 2010 at 11:20 AM

    I absolutely HATE fruit stickers! Great quotes!


    WORD VERIFICATION: instano
    DEFINITION: a response given before a child even finishes asking something that the mother knows is unsafe, stupid, messy, expensive and/or annoying.

    ReplyDelete
  2. TammyAugust 21, 2010 at 10:12 AM

    Hee hee...maternity ninja!

    ReplyDelete
  3. MJAugust 29, 2010 at 12:27 AM

    My cat does unholy things to crickets... now THAT made me laugh.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Where'd the monkeys in my hair go?

I promise I will post Wednesdays' Weirdos again next week, but the pictures for this week got trapped on my camera with a dead battery. Sorry. I suck. Instead I'll tell you a drinking story. We were in St. Louis visiting for the holidays and a rare opportunity to get annihilated with my girlfriends presented itself. I started out with two beers while I was waiting for the girls with Rob's friends. Then, when we got to the fancy-pants bar I switched to whiskey on the rocks. I'm at sea level so I think I can drink like a champ. Hmmm. After about three of these and I-don't-remember-how-many shots, I switched back to beer. Damn, I'm bright. At some point in the evening I realize that we're in a bar that used to be my favorite bar in the whole world. It was called Tangerine then. They had Go Go dancers on the bar and let you climb on it and had hand shaped chairs so your butt got held. They had trucker night where you got your drinks in mugs. They ha...
6 comments
Read more

Dear Book Pimp

So I wrote this book and I think it's pretty decent. That's the feedback I'm getting anyway, which is bitchin' really since I have a degree in Education, NOT writing. Plus, this is my first try, so really I should be happy, right? But, turns out writing the book is maybe the easy part. The publishing is another story. You have to find a Literary Agent. To do this, you have to write a 1-3 page letter to many literary agents to convince them to read a sample chapter. Send it with a Self addressed stamped envelope (SASE) and wait. there's more but I'm already experiencing a high level anxiety just writing about this part. In my letter, I'm supposed to explain who I am, what my book's about, why I'm qualified to write it, why its sicky illy good, who'll read it, and on and on. AHHHHHhhhhh! This shit scares me. Also, I'm supposed to be witty, clever, literary, and junk. Oh and explain a 300 page book in a sales pitch. I'm not a frea...
10 comments
Read more

Past tense

I work with this really kickass lawyer. She's been all crazy over this guy lately. He worked for probation. Past tense. Did you see it? Over the weekend he killed himself. Enter past tense, the unwelcome jerk. And I feel soooo terrible. And guilty. Because I tried it to. I talked about it a little in this post . Try #17 and on. That's where I talk about it. A little. And now when someone kills themselves, I feel guilty. Like what I did when I was 17 somehow makes me responsible for everyone who ever does it. Like because I tried it, I should know how to fix it. But there are tons of recovering drug addicts that can't tell you how to get sober. There are great thinkers that can't explain their ideas. And the fact is, no one can explain suicide.
6 comments
Read more