I really like most people. I'm not all "I'm not a people person." I'm an introvert but I like people. I'm friendly and smiley at them. There are 2 exceptions:
1. while driving, I'm a bee-atch. Grouchy as can be.
2. Once I don't like someone, I have a tough kind coming back. I just can't stand anything about them. There's a woman I work with from time to time that I have this problem with. Every time I hear her saying anything I think to myself "know-it-all bitch." It doesn't even matter what she's talking about or if I know the topic. She's finger nails on my whiteboard. Or whatever.
Being an introvert doesn't mean you don't like people. The best description I've heard for it is that if you're an extrovert you get energy from being around people and if you're in an introvert it takes energy. I like it, but it takes energy. Running in the woods by myself gives me energy. I'm having a tough time these days not imagining the lovely things I'll do with my body when I'm "done." I know I'm not likely to do a lot of them because I'll be all covered in baby goo but still, its good to think about taking the baby in the sling and going for a hike. There are plenty of rocks to stop off on and breastfeed. Or take a nap in the sun if we're both tired. I picture an October day where Rob gets home from work and I hand him the baby and take the dog and go for one of those runs in the woods by myself.
I like escape. I like reading and movies and some of that's for the escape. When I get stressed, I plan my get away. I look into plane tickets to Burkina Foso or Madagascar and make sure I know where my passport is and consider what it would take to convince Rob to come. So with pregnancy its picturing the afterwards. It feels like a healthier escape. More just forward looking optimism instead of the I-quit-my-lifes.
But with it raining and having newly gotten carpal tunnel from pregnancy and just being all around ready to be done, the nap calling me feels like a pillowy escape I could just about chuck a cubicle at.
Layers, So Many
2 days ago