A little boy was wandering around the non-fiction section. I asked, “Can I help you?”
Little boy: “I need to write report on New Hampster and I can’t find anything!”
"Just thinking...If you were my paper work, I'd be doing you on my desk right now..."
"That was a window, Mikey. You were very drunk."
"I said, "hurry up midgets," talking to my kids. And then there was a whole family of midgets getting out of their car."