Here's some advice I plan to follow with regard to giving my children things to drink.
Give water. Nurse. Feed fruit. Rinse. Repeat.
No juice. Never. I mean it. Not until the kid's old enough to decide to spend pocket change on a chocolate bar vs. soda vs. juice vs. all the other things they shouldn't be having but we all do. Meaning, when my child is old enough to have pocket change. To go to the store and spend it and make change and make bad decisions they have to begin living with all on their own.
In other news, I felt the parasite move. MOVE! It was the most excitingest thing ever. Seriously, I couldn't focus on a thing afterwards and just kept coming up to Rob (who was trying to play his banjo) and saying "The baby moved, Rob. It MOVED!" Wander the house, attempt to read, rinse, repeat "The baby moved, Rob. It MOVED!" It was so awesome. Little thumps, not rhythmic and I don't know where they come up with flutters, thumps.
It made the chin hair I pulled out and the fact that the top of my boob touched my stomach when I bent over and my thighs touching and replacing "happy hour" with "gassy hour" and giving up soccer this summer all worth it. And none of those things are awesome. But 8 seconds of it moving and I was all set on my mission.
I have to say, though, I miss skiing. Badly. I'm going to be a mess by next season. Now I'm not even dreaming about skiing as much. Sad. I'm not supposed to ski. And at first I was allowed and it was fine. And then the doctor's office was all, "you shouldn't ski after your 1st trimester." And my friend who is 10 days behind me pregnantways was all, "Yeah, but I'm sure its fine. You'd pretty much have to break your pelvis for it to cause a problem." And I thought "ok." But then my coworker BROKE HER PELVIS! So yeah, no skiing.
The other good/weird thing is the dreams. Mine and other peoples. I dreamt about the baby being born and that was cool. It felt kinda like pooping in the dream. Like when you get the thing moving, it started to feel better and then it was just out and I was dying to know what it was.(We're waiting to find out if its got twignberries or a girlie playground until the bursting day.) I also had a dream about the bugger having teeth and coming at me to breastfeed, but that's another story.
And this! This is an email I got from a friend:
So I had the most fucked up dream EVER last night!!!! You were in it. I was pregnant...so were you...you were soooo excited that I was pregnant and I kept trying to explain to you that it wasn't a good thing that I was pregnant and had no idea who the father was...not because I had slept with so many people....but because I hadn't had sex??? But you were in the room at my doctor's office for an exam rubbin my belly...and then the doctor stuck her finger in my butt???? And you were hysterical!!!! Woke up soooooo confused....and with nothing in my butt!
This is funny because its totally what I would do. But seriously folks, the obgyno is not supposed to put her finger there. Right? That's not some other nasty surprise coming around a corner from here, right? Cuz the baby moving just got me over the hump of all the things I'm missing and I'm not sure what else is to come in pregnancy to get me over a finger in my asshole.
Give water. Nurse. Feed fruit. Rinse. Repeat.
No juice. Never. I mean it. Not until the kid's old enough to decide to spend pocket change on a chocolate bar vs. soda vs. juice vs. all the other things they shouldn't be having but we all do. Meaning, when my child is old enough to have pocket change. To go to the store and spend it and make change and make bad decisions they have to begin living with all on their own.
In other news, I felt the parasite move. MOVE! It was the most excitingest thing ever. Seriously, I couldn't focus on a thing afterwards and just kept coming up to Rob (who was trying to play his banjo) and saying "The baby moved, Rob. It MOVED!" Wander the house, attempt to read, rinse, repeat "The baby moved, Rob. It MOVED!" It was so awesome. Little thumps, not rhythmic and I don't know where they come up with flutters, thumps.
It made the chin hair I pulled out and the fact that the top of my boob touched my stomach when I bent over and my thighs touching and replacing "happy hour" with "gassy hour" and giving up soccer this summer all worth it. And none of those things are awesome. But 8 seconds of it moving and I was all set on my mission.
I have to say, though, I miss skiing. Badly. I'm going to be a mess by next season. Now I'm not even dreaming about skiing as much. Sad. I'm not supposed to ski. And at first I was allowed and it was fine. And then the doctor's office was all, "you shouldn't ski after your 1st trimester." And my friend who is 10 days behind me pregnantways was all, "Yeah, but I'm sure its fine. You'd pretty much have to break your pelvis for it to cause a problem." And I thought "ok." But then my coworker BROKE HER PELVIS! So yeah, no skiing.
The other good/weird thing is the dreams. Mine and other peoples. I dreamt about the baby being born and that was cool. It felt kinda like pooping in the dream. Like when you get the thing moving, it started to feel better and then it was just out and I was dying to know what it was.(We're waiting to find out if its got twignberries or a girlie playground until the bursting day.) I also had a dream about the bugger having teeth and coming at me to breastfeed, but that's another story.
And this! This is an email I got from a friend:
So I had the most fucked up dream EVER last night!!!! You were in it. I was pregnant...so were you...you were soooo excited that I was pregnant and I kept trying to explain to you that it wasn't a good thing that I was pregnant and had no idea who the father was...not because I had slept with so many people....but because I hadn't had sex??? But you were in the room at my doctor's office for an exam rubbin my belly...and then the doctor stuck her finger in my butt???? And you were hysterical!!!! Woke up soooooo confused....and with nothing in my butt!
This is funny because its totally what I would do. But seriously folks, the obgyno is not supposed to put her finger there. Right? That's not some other nasty surprise coming around a corner from here, right? Cuz the baby moving just got me over the hump of all the things I'm missing and I'm not sure what else is to come in pregnancy to get me over a finger in my asshole.
yeah, juice is bad. it's not just squeezed up fruit (oh, and they take the worst of the fruit to be squeezed up, btw. it's not shiny oranges off a tree. it's practically rotten- but still edible!!- oranges off the ground)
ReplyDeleteand a finger in your butt will be the least of your hangups when this is all over. I will disrobe on the street now. Having a baby (ie- being in labor) robs you of your modesty.
And the thing that makes it ALL worthwhile is the feeling of creating a miracle that you get when you first see your child. At that point, NOTHING else matters.
ReplyDeletemja