"I saw a squirrel running down the stairs with a cheeseburger. I thought of you."
"Zombies are the bacon of pop culture. Whatever you put them in becomes better."
"Sgt. L receives a call about a naked guy walking into a restaurant and putting ice in his butt."
"article on the back of the Summit Daily today- 500 lbs man hid a 9mm in his flab. He made it through city and county jail searches without it being found. Since I had to experience that image just before lunch, I though you should have to too."
"Fatty's be packin."
"Your panties are like a unicorn to me. Put that in Friday Quotes."
"Karin eating kitten heads. Does anyone even read this/check this site anymore? "
"Do kitten heads have a lot of protein? lmao Im sure your mom's proud"
"Sometimes its about the flavor, Nik"
Poudre River(pronounced Pooter) Quotes
"You can't complain about spending a hot day in a big wet spot on the Poudre."
"You gotta be careful when the Poudre gets backed up. It can get pretty stinky."
Cornhole (I always thought it was called 'bean bag toss') Game Quotes
"I can't quite see. Did I get a rim job or a corn hole on that?"
"You're supposed to get it IN the cornhole Donlon."
"Nothin' but cornhole! Just right in there!"
The Poudre jokes never got old for me. Feel free to make up your own. Same story for the Cornhole jokes. I'm mature like that.