"I have a friend who was born with an old school IUD sticking out of her head. I kid you not."
"J completed the quiz "Which movie romance do you fit into?" with the result Jack + Ennix." "Seriously??? Everyone else ends up as hot teenage vampires and I end up two gay cowboys??? I blame this on Texas!"
"I'd rather be a treehugger than a mean mugger"
"I always want a pile of cake. Although anything that sounded healthy... I left that off the plate. Tres Leches (three milks??) - waste of time (although, I tried it later and it was pretty good)."
"Its like having a surprise party but forgetting to invite the people."
"I'd like a cuckoo clock over my desk with a button I could push to make the little birdies come out and they'd twirp "Crack rock, Crack rock" real loud while people were talking to certain clients."