Tuesday, September 29, 2009
My Fortune Translated
This was in my fortune cookie last night:
"You will win success in whatever you adopt."
At first I thought it translated to:
"Online translators give poor, literal translations."
But now I know my destiny is to adopt a gorilla named Humphrey and that one day I will teach Humphrey to play "Man, Gun, Gorilla" (like rock paper scissors but physical. You stand back to back, count to three and turn around holding up your arms for gorilla, making a gun for duh, gun, and standing with your arms down for man. Gorilla kills man, man holds the gun, gun shoots the gorilla.) And I will win at this game because Humphrey will have to be the gorilla every time.
Booo, ah ah ah!!!!
Do not be confused, Humphrey, by the gorilla holding the gun. It is a ruse, like paper beating rock (which has always been illogical and stupid, unlike Man, Gun, Gorilla.)
Sorry about your name, Humphrey. I tried to name you Hosiah, but Rob didn't like it. Blame him.