"Let's alternate for a while and see how we feel. You go creepy, I'll stay drunk, and we can have a little sit down and compare notes annually and then decide. I just don't feel comfortable comitting to one or the other just yet."
Mom: "Oh hey! That's Tony Hawk on Yo Gabba Gabba"
Kid: "You mean that old man trying to skateboard?"
"I feel so dirty. Are all my teeth still there? Am I carrying a puppy mill puppy? Do my jeans have pockets? Are my roots showing? Going to WalMart is so scary! I need a shower!"
"ah, December 1st. The day I spend all day debating which feels tighter- my budget or my waistband. No one likes a chubby poor chick. No one."
"Thanksgiving. Not a good day to be my pants.""Eat that turkey bitch" - Ike Turner, Thanksgiving 1965