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Jeesh, haven't seen you guys in a while. What's it been, like a month? You'd think I'd been doing something important. Like being a mom. Really, I've been sewing a stalking. Holy distracted-and-horrible! I meant, STOCKING! From scratch. Every stitch, every sequin. Look who's crafty now, bitcheS!

Sorry for calling you bitches.

Around holidays and other some such marked events, I always think back. Sometimes I can't remember what I was doing the previous year. Or I think back and think, "meh" But last year, I found out I was pregnant on New Year's Eve. On account of the whole drink/not drink decision thing.

So I was all happy, and nervous, and scared, and nervous and happy and scared. And nervous. And happy.

Because I was just happy the first time I was pregnant, but that didn't turn out so good. And what's lame is that after you have a miscarriage, all you want in the world, I mean ALL you want in the world, is to be pregnant again.

And this year, I'm spending lots and I mean LOTS of time being really happy. Like freakin' greeting card, bullshit-no-one's-that-happy kinda happy.

I could count the tiny things that make me happy and they'd be like boogers on a 7 year old's wall. Grossly numerous.

You didn't think yours was the only kid who wiped boogs on the wall, did you?

And what's wild this year compared to last year, is how many times the thing I think of that makes me happy has to do with NOT being pregnant anymore. Every morning, as I'm walking in to work, I think "I'm so glad I'm not pregnant anymore." Because there's an OB's office and public health with their prenatal programs and the public clinic all in my building. So I see a pregnant lady, or my OB, or someone or just the office and think "I'm so glad to not be pregnant right now." Which is weird when I was so happy to BE pregnant last year. That little baby makes a HUGE difference though. Getting a baby out's worth it but I can't wait to ski in the new year this year.

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