Fuck You, Special Fuck You, and Very Special Fuck You

At the end of the book I just read the author points out how at the end of books there's often an acknowledgment section and how maybe there should also be a corresponding fuck you section. It is in the spirit of the anti-acknowledgment that I issue the following fuck you's.
Fuck You
To the asshole on ebay who sold me a fancy iPod with no cords. None.
A Special Fuck You
To the asshole on ebay who sold me an ancient printer (which I picked intentionally knowing its a good ole reliable one) without any cords. Leading me to spend an hour and twenty minutes alternately chatting with and talking on the phone with more assholes at HP in India in order to get them to sell me another cord for the same cost as the stupid printer. I HATE CUSTOMER SERVICE!!!!
A Very Special Fuck You
To the fucking asshole at the rec center yesterday who stole my shoes. What the hell?!!???!!! Who takes someone's shoes while their swimming. Much less their covered-in-road-salt-kid's-skate shoes?

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