"mm ankles... belly, ahh that neck. Its Mormon porn!"
"How many peeps in a posse, how much booty before baby got back, do you have to be all that to get all up in that... even with the gift of tongues I'm having trouble learning to speak hip-hop."
"Its like taking a shit Popsicle and covering it chocolate and saying its good."
"So you want me to beat the chicken while you go play soccer?"
"A couple jailed on suspicion of having a same-sex wedding was freed Monday after a doctor determined that the groom is a hermaphrodite."
Male cashier: "WI"? Which state is "WI"?
Female cashier: West Indies?
Male cashier: Okay. That makes sense.
"A nest of vipers,"
"A pox on your family"
"No, there's a next of vipers over here. Really."
"Oh, I thought you were taunting me. Sorry, a pox off of your family."