"Oh yeah. I've heard about you. You sweat all over the place at night."
"Yeah, I sweat the bed."
"You're sour."
"You're sour."
"I'm not sour. I'm an edgy version of pleasant."
"I never knew how stinky labor was until I was holding a leg peering down, it's an overwhelming smell of menses."
Student "If you swam in lake Dillon when you came out your testicles would be this big and inside you."
Professor "Great. We're talking about my testicles in class."
"So, how is your relationship?"
"Well, my relationship is kind of like cigarettes for you. It's not so good for you but you kind of need something to put in your mouth."
"First he will call, because that mean he is ready to show up, so if you need him at that moment he is going to your address, or the address you said if not, he is going to show up at the time you want"
"Ok"
"So far am I been helpful with your issue to your satisfaction?"
"ummm"
"Yeah, I sweat the bed."
"You're sour."
"You're sour."
"I'm not sour. I'm an edgy version of pleasant."
"I never knew how stinky labor was until I was holding a leg peering down, it's an overwhelming smell of menses."
Student "If you swam in lake Dillon when you came out your testicles would be this big and inside you."
Professor "Great. We're talking about my testicles in class."
"So, how is your relationship?"
"Well, my relationship is kind of like cigarettes for you. It's not so good for you but you kind of need something to put in your mouth."
"First he will call, because that mean he is ready to show up, so if you need him at that moment he is going to your address, or the address you said if not, he is going to show up at the time you want"
"Ok"
"So far am I been helpful with your issue to your satisfaction?"
"ummm"
These are hilarious! P.S. I once likened a certain boyfriend to a cigarette habit. Something to the effect of "I know the habit is completely unhealthy, and that someday I'll quit. But right now, I NEED that damn fix."
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