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Friday Quotes

"I’d rather shit in a bowl, sprinkle a bit of sugar on it, pour milk over it, and eat it.”


"We've bonded over composting."


"Oh my god. My butt's so cold it feels like I have to poop."


"Pinko commie redneck leechbutt twatwaffle! I almost peed."


"My corn's growing nicely, well actually not fast enough. The other day I had to pee really bad..." A scientist on her field work.

"Your see-through underwear is all impressive but mine's trash. You had to buy your see-through underwear. I earned mine."

"I surreptitiously studied these invalids, their twisted hands, their closed faces, these parcels of life hunched in upon themselves. One of them caught my eye, and I ventured a smile. He responded by sticking out his tongue."

"No one's really all that jolly at your happy hour."

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