Skip to main content

Friday Quotes!

"You are sexting a monkey and getting turned on."

"The fairyest of drag queens and 3 year olds have the same taste in music."

"Michelle's brow furrow turned into a brow spasm at age 13."

"You spit something up on my boob and made me pick it off and put it in my drink."

"The fruit is getting good and sucked."

"If you ever want to fuck again, I'm gonna buy you an iPhone cuz there's an app for that."

"Karin is a whore. Yeah, your wife is a whore and it is quite a video."

"He got nomigranite"

".... inappropriate"
"Innapropriate comments? That's what little girls are made of."
"Girls are made of Adderall."

"We thought WE were having a normal conversation. We were just talking about animal sex."

"I've been hit with 14 hoola hoops and slapped in the face with hippie smell and I don't even know."

"I'm just glad you don't have a fucking rainbow, you bilingual elf."

"It has been brought to my attention that I may owe you an apology. Something about a slipping incident, then holding you down with my foot, and a camera. Yup, consider me sorry."

"Windy.The manger across the street blew over: Joseph rolled down a hill, Mary is trapped under a bench, and I think Jesus is in a tree. "

"I know you told me something you wanted for Christmas but now I can't remember what it was."
"Gray socks."
"No wonder I couldn't remember. That's the boringest shit I've ever heard."
Labels:

Comments

  1. meDecember 11, 2009 at 7:36 AM

    ouch.

    ReplyDelete
  2. LoraDecember 11, 2009 at 8:38 AM

    my son loves glampop
    Lady Gaga
    Mika
    Scissor Sisters
    all of it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousDecember 14, 2009 at 8:00 PM

    The fairyest drag queens and 3-yr-olds also have about the same taste in clothes!!
    mja

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousDecember 14, 2009 at 8:01 PM

    But I neeeed gray socks. How 'bout an electric toothbrush. I think I also need something with batteries.!
    mom

    ReplyDelete
  5. Karin MitchellDecember 17, 2009 at 2:16 PM

    Hey ma-that sounds vaguely dirty.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Friday Quotes! The GAME

Introducing *drumroll please* Friday Quotes: The Game Apparently people play this game in their heads when they read this anyway so here's your chance to make it interactive. Guess who said each quote. You can post your answers in the comments. The person with the most correct answers gets.... the joy of being right. What? I don't paid for this blog, so you'll have to find self satisfaction wherever you can. Let the Games Begin! 1. "She's so dumb she thinks 'soy milk' is Spanish for 'I am milk'." 2. "Yeah... I didn't sit next to him on spaghetti day." 3. “Its just like when you don’t think about something, you know, and then you think about something.” 4. "What, you're my fucking mom? What, you shat me out of your womb?" 5. “I just had all of this emotion, and it burst forth from my face.” 6. “Chances are if you're reading it and you think its Heath, its probably Heath.” 7. “He drinks whiskey, or Izze, or l...
14 comments
Read more

Past tense

I work with this really kickass lawyer. She's been all crazy over this guy lately. He worked for probation. Past tense. Did you see it? Over the weekend he killed himself. Enter past tense, the unwelcome jerk. And I feel soooo terrible. And guilty. Because I tried it to. I talked about it a little in this post . Try #17 and on. That's where I talk about it. A little. And now when someone kills themselves, I feel guilty. Like what I did when I was 17 somehow makes me responsible for everyone who ever does it. Like because I tried it, I should know how to fix it. But there are tons of recovering drug addicts that can't tell you how to get sober. There are great thinkers that can't explain their ideas. And the fact is, no one can explain suicide.
6 comments
Read more

Wednesdays' Weirdos: Kindergarten Krazy

My friends took their 5 year old, Tempest, to look at schools in Denver. One of them went to the Waldorf Schools as a kid so they've been pretty into checking them out. I asked about the visit and these are some of the tidbits I got: - They speak really quietly, apparently its a little eerie. - They had a story telling time where they lit a candle and sat in a circle. At the end of story, they used a snuffer dealie bobber to snuff out the candle. Tempest asked how they did it and they told her "Magic..." in their whispery conspiratorial voices. - One of the teachers told the mom about how at night when she dreams she goes to an alternate plane where she meets up with the children and it is there that she finds out what the children need. Making her this week's Wednesday's Weirdo: Kindergarten Krazy. The dad did not think this was weird. The mom did. I said I'd like to think when she goes home and sleeps, she thinks of something other than work. But wh...
5 comments
Read more