I think it is perfectly reasonable for me to respond by calling him V.I. Penis.
P.S. I'm pregnant (for anyone who didn't already know.) 13 weeks that is. Which should explain why the blog's been a little quieter and more seriouser lately. I was kind scared about the whole thing and well, just not ready to tell. But now we're all clear.
So there's good things and bad things:
- My boobs are HUGE! Like 2 sizes bigger. They bounce now. And touch. Its wild. I don't appreciate it when I'm skiing. But the rest of the time I like it.
- I spent about 8 weeks sick to my stomach almost constantly. That is fucking clown shoes.
- I saw the baby's heartbeat. Its amazing. It didn't even look like a baby the first time I saw its little heart blurp on the monitor. Now it looks like a baby. A fuzzy, gray, TV baby, but a baby. I thought I lost an ultrasound picture for a while there, (which in all honesty could just as easily have been a picture of a patella, but you're just supposed to keep them and put them in baby books and sleep with them under your pillow for the tooth fairy or something so I felt pretty shitty,) but I found it.
- The farting is out of control. V.I. Penis is now referring to me as the "largest gas producer in the house." We have a boxer dog. Horrible.
- Every time I turn around, I read some other fucked up thing that can happen to you when you're pregnant. For example: your vag stretching and getting huge, random hairs growing on your face and body, losing the ability to hold your pee after giving birth (forever,) discoloration on your face that may or may not go away, hair loss. Need I go on? I need to stop reading so much. You won't hear me say that often.