" I would like to blame my fatness on the Bush Administration"
"Why you got to pry like that, Facebook? What's on MY mind you always want to know? Why do you care? Huh? Ass."
"Well, I'm an old gold toof and I'll tell you the troof. I live in the mouth of a homie!"
"White House says Nobel money goes to charity. ... So basically a socialist redistribution of wealth? Typical."
"I am not interested in picking up crumbs of compassion thrown from the table of someone who considers himself my master. I want the full menu of rights." ~Bishop Desmond Tutu
"I think when I come up and grab you and kiss you when you're topless, we've moved beyond flirting."
""Ain'tthat America" highlight of the day: Major news networks interruptcoverage of a presidential town hall meeting to show footage of anempty weather balloon floating over Colorado. For two hours."
"new favorite insult = "douche canoe""
"what exactly would something like that do?"
"It would douche a giant you-know and sing Row, Row, Row your boat as it came out.Glad you asked? I didn't think so."