"So that's what we're calling dwarves who walk Pomeranians now? Carnivals? I expected more from you, Gina."
"Just stood on my front porch with my tiara on my head, without realizing it. I really AM a pretty, pretty princess! And a nerd."
"Your face says no, but your purr says yes."
"I felt really bad washing my hair with hand soap in front of my hair dresser. Like, I'd brushed my teeth with a chocolate bar in front of the dentist."
"If an 18 year old compliments your outfit is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
"I'll be Kanye West for Halloween & just before kids say Trick or Treat, I'll jump out of the bushes and yell Christmas is better!"
"Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take-out from heaven."
"I think its now standard issue for the Defense Attorney's office: If you're a woman its 'Hellow Miss, here's your thong,' if youre a man its 'Here's your bong.'"