So last night we went out to dinner at the fondue restaurant at the top of Keystone. You take two gondolas to get to the restaurant. We had an amazing dinner with turtle fondue at the end, which I ordered a spoon in order to finish. Yes, I shamelessly spooned the chocolate straight from the pot into my mouth. (I managed to keep it off my forehead this time too.) As we waddled out toward the gondola to go home, there were a few women arriving. They were overly done up and one of them was wearing a fur coat. Her own hair had gotten caught in her fur coat, and all I could think is, "ha ha fancy pants, that's karma!" Then I had a funny picture of a barely visible spirit lingering over her shoulder laughing with Dave Chappelle's voice saying, "Bitch, I'll let go of your hair when you let go of mine!"
I am afraid of changing lightbulbs. I HATE feet. I hate condiments. Vinegar is disgusting. I check behind the shower curtain of people's houses because I'm the kind of person who would hide there to scare someone. When I was six I went to school with my coat and no shirt on. When I was 10 I didn't brush my hair for 4 months. My favorite errand is going to the library. I will pull things out of the trash to recycle them. I hate country music and jam bands. I have great aim when throwing things even though I can't play an upperbody sport to save my life. I like dark art. I trust scary looking people almost immediately.