So last night we went out to dinner at the fondue restaurant at the top of Keystone. You take two gondolas to get to the restaurant. We had an amazing dinner with turtle fondue at the end, which I ordered a spoon in order to finish. Yes, I shamelessly spooned the chocolate straight from the pot into my mouth. (I managed to keep it off my forehead this time too.) As we waddled out toward the gondola to go home, there were a few women arriving. They were overly done up and one of them was wearing a fur coat. Her own hair had gotten caught in her fur coat, and all I could think is, "ha ha fancy pants, that's karma!" Then I had a funny picture of a barely visible spirit lingering over her shoulder laughing with Dave Chappelle's voice saying, "Bitch, I'll let go of your hair when you let go of mine!"
So I wrote this book and I think it's pretty decent. That's the feedback I'm getting anyway, which is bitchin' really since I have a degree in Education, NOT writing. Plus, this is my first try, so really I should be happy, right? But, turns out writing the book is maybe the easy part. The publishing is another story. You have to find a Literary Agent. To do this, you have to write a 1-3 page letter to many literary agents to convince them to read a sample chapter. Send it with a Self addressed stamped envelope (SASE) and wait. there's more but I'm already experiencing a high level anxiety just writing about this part. In my letter, I'm supposed to explain who I am, what my book's about, why I'm qualified to write it, why its sicky illy good, who'll read it, and on and on. AHHHHHhhhhh! This shit scares me. Also, I'm supposed to be witty, clever, literary, and junk. Oh and explain a 300 page book in a sales pitch. I'm not a frea...
They make their hair extra poofy to match their coat. I think animals take pity on us for our HUGE bald spots, but prolly not if we wear hides.
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