Eyelashes

I lie, hear my eyelashes blinking on the pillow case
blink blink
eyes widen as I listen
listen hard in the thick silence.
See, when I was six,
a man came in my house
beating silence into scary corners.
In a quiet so dangerous
arm hairs have a language on sheets
and eyelashes scream
even when you don't
And its not so much that I'm angry as
flipping coins
in and out of slot machines
pump like drugs in and out of veins; hearts; brains.
Chemicals changing so quickly I'm not sure which line I'm on
getting off the subway car.
Staggering catching my balance, my mind
you look at me in your powerful uniform
I want to pull that seal up over your head like a hockey jersey
and beat the quiet away
with the butt of your own gun.
I want power over the quiet
over me and my loud eyelashes
I rise & stand before the mirror
smiling as I snip them off.