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Friday Quotes!

Friday Quotes!The best I've heard, seen, read, uttered, or overheard.
"My brother peed in my mother's fireplace. The electric one."

"Oil? What kind of oil? Cockoil? I think we might have some cockoil in the house"

"You know what? When I went to put my ski boots on this morning I found condoms in there. I thought it was snow."

"Its like I hold all the cold deep in the tissues of my butt and only let it out if I absolutely have to."

"people get their panties in a bunch because you may have possibly called God an imaginary friend for adults under you breath at their baby’s Christening."

On church sign: "Staying in bed shouting, 'oh god' does not constitute going to church."
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Comments

  1. The Acorn KingDecember 12, 2008 at 6:43 PM

    Never ever pee in the electric fireplace, I learned that one the hard way. Peeing in the bug zapper is totally cool though.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousDecember 13, 2008 at 7:12 AM

    Now Presenting...Friday Quotes, The Lost Files, Jen's Birthday Party.

    "Escalante? Is that like a new Mercedes?"

    "In High School I totally smoked pot. I smoked like a fish."

    "I sneeze at the sight of vampire."

    "I think I'll puke right now if I drink a bong hit."

    "You could be the receptacle of blow juice."
    "Dude, that guy's a walking friday quote"

    -plus two I just couldn't decipher-

    Matt

    ReplyDelete
  3. Karin MitchellDecember 14, 2008 at 12:04 AM

    Thank goodness! I was so confused about where my notes on those quotes went!
    And yeah, the undecipherable ones might have had something to do with the Maker's.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Michael from dadcation.comDecember 14, 2008 at 7:04 PM

    I love this feature. I just hope to be a part of it some Friday soon.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Me-Me KingDecember 16, 2008 at 1:26 PM

    "My son dumped my weed in the floor furnace. Nose hits anyone?"

    ReplyDelete
  6. KellyDecember 22, 2008 at 10:25 PM

    "My doctor said the hemmoroid stickin out of my anus looked like a tiny rosebud. I'm not sure what to make of that."

    ReplyDelete

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