Friday Quotes!The best I've heard, seen, read, uttered, or overheard.
"My brother peed in my mother's fireplace. The electric one."
"Oil? What kind of oil? Cockoil? I think we might have some cockoil in the house"
"You know what? When I went to put my ski boots on this morning I found condoms in there. I thought it was snow."
"Its like I hold all the cold deep in the tissues of my butt and only let it out if I absolutely have to."
"people get their panties in a bunch because you may have possibly called God an imaginary friend for adults under you breath at their baby’s Christening."
On church sign: "Staying in bed shouting, 'oh god' does not constitute going to church."
What an asshole.
1 day ago