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Between Families Between Families
reviews: 5
ratings: 8 (avg rating 4.75)

Friday, December 19, 2008

Poo Particles

When I was around 6, my cousin told me that whenever you smell something, it's tiny particles of that thing floating into your nostrils. So when you smell poop, or even farts, its actually poo particles floating into your nose.

I was pooping on the toilet at the time.

First I plugged my nose.
But then I was breathing through my mouth.
Ahhhh!!!! Shit in my mouth!!!!
I closed my mouth.
I tried to hold my breath.
Turning blue, I lifted my nightgown to cover my mouth and nose and breath.
I panted a little.


Then she said the particles are so small they can get through your nightgown.

So then for about 10 years I tried to hold my breath every time while going for a world's record in fastest crapper so it wouldn't get in my nose or my mouth.

Heaven forbid, she bring up this minutia while we're baking brownies. Twat.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, I can picture the 6-year-old sitting on the potty, legs dangling, wearing a strawberry shortcake nightgown and turning blue from holding her breath!! hee hee hee hee hee heeh heeeee
mja

Father Muskrat said...

what a nasty bitch! i hope you gave her a beatdown later.

Silly Swedish Skier Says So said...

I fought enough with my brother. Although she's coming to visitnext week and if she tells the story of how I pooped in the bathtub with her when I was 2 one more time, I might have to reconsider.

The Acorn King said...

I hear you shouldn't eat the mints they put out by the register at restaurants too, b/c people poop and don't wash their hands, then they grab those mints. Poop mints.

Btw...I also check behind people's shower curtains when I go in their bathrooms to see if someone is hiding behind them. I like the way you think.

Kelly said...

But what about the poop particles going into your eyes? You could be blinded by shit. What if you had shit in your eyes? Then, everything you looked at would be brown!

OMG! Just think of it! Everything would be brown!

Silly Swedish Skier Says So said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
PPP said...

Molecules are cool. Particles not so much.

Silly Swedish Skier Says So said...

Acorn King- Um, other people with same seriously obscure quirks...? Yeah, makes my heart happy. Or maybe that's Christmas and new skis. Either way, nice.

Kelly- Brown eyes= stinky eyes

Lora said...

so it must be true.
i love how we used almost exactly the same words to describe the phenomenon. Creepy!

but the good kind of creepy!