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Friday Quotes!

"What blood type does a rastafarian have?"
"B positive."

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's the best they're going to feel."

"Voila! The Wunder Boner!"
"My wife would like that!"

"I couldn't tell if she was being ignorant or condescending. But I knew it was one of them"

"and the world will be made of unicorns and rainbows then."

"Karin fuck 25 things, it just deleted mine."
"What it did? Can't you fuck em back somehow?"

"I like to use the word 'weird' as a verb."
"I like to use the word 'fuck' as a verb."

"I want to be pregnant so I can blame all the dumb things I do on pregnant brain."
"You can't teach a pregnant dog new tricks!"

Comments

  1. Funny- Funny- Funny. And weird, but not as a verb. Good work in gathering and offering these up.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love these quotes! I want a Wunder Boner.

    Also, did my daughter say the one about unicorns and rainbows?

    ReplyDelete

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"You may be unusually energetic today because your key planet Venus received an unexpected wake-up call from electrifying Uranus." "Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people you've never met--all of a sudden you take pride in accomplishments you had no part in whatsoever... " -Doug Stanhope "Drink that, DENVER!" Quiz Results: You are 48% mean "Is the junk yard dog losing her bite?" "Weak!" "F you Karin--your pretty face is going to HELL!" "Yeah it is, I might have had to spit on a homeless person but I got 67%" At the fireworks- "Where would patriotism be without the Chinese?" "The phrase 'I'm not racist but...' should just be replaced with 'I'm racist AND...'" "12 million homeowners and investors will be "underwater"--owing more than their property is worth." "I prefer up-side-down. Makes people sound like they've gone face...