Why yes, yes he did.
Muskrat sent me the following rules, which I will likely disregard
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
Then, he sent me the following questions which I may or may not answer as I see fit to make up or avoid cuz its my blog and I'll lie if I want to. Its called "creative license," look it up.
1) Where do you find your Friday quotes? Real life, blogs, both?
In Sweden, live little men called Tomtes, (pronounced tom-tahs,) They have beets for ears and live exclusively by hunting mushrooms. They are fueled by a vicious hatred of being confused with yard gnomes and therefore travel all their days, murdering and beheading various lawn decorations. Plastic is a special hatred for them in case you're a freak with lawn animals. Be warned.
Anyway, each year they take a break from their pillaging of irresponsible Swedish lawns to celebrate the witticisms each has heard. Each Tomte writes his or her favorite quote from the year on a scrap of paper and offers it up to the Great Moose. Whatever the Great Moose doesn't eat, they let me take.
That, and my husband, friends, and I have some funny conversations that I occasionally write down. Oh and movies, blogs, books. Gina runs a mean Friday Quotes, and she has a neat little icon that explains where they come from. I do a little dance for the Tomtes every time I make her Friday Quotes.
2) Are you really Swedish? Can you ski? If "no" to either, what's your blog's name's origin then?
Are you freakin kidding me?
I have blonde braids that stick out of my red helmet and I can sing the entirety of "Du Gamla Du Fria" but you don't want me to do that because I'm really really tone deaf and you'll be sorry. (That's the theme song to Sweden, I mean national anthem.) Also, please see my Christmas Post where there's a picture of my sexy new skis, the Hellbents.... ahhhh. Still doubt my skiing Swedish badassedness??? I live in Frisco, CO. Come visit. Vi ses.
"Wrap your head with this material" is a line from an Erykah Badu song.
3) Describe your favorite Christmas letter (received) this year. Favorite ever?
Ummm. I've moved once or twice a year for more than 10 years. No one has my address. I got two Christmas letters. One had a picture. So I'll pick it. Thanks Karyl! Your girls are darling.
4) Some of your categories include "drinking," "social services," and "fuck you." Have you ever been intoxicated enough to earn a "Fuck you!" from a Social Services professional? Why or why not?
Mickey, my coworker, said "Fuck you!" to me today when I told the tech people that she took a crap on my laptop and that was why it was not working. I work for Social Services. I was drunk.
But not really.
I'd get fired.
And I like working there.
I haven't had a client say "fuck you" to me yet, though I plan on it. I did have an adult protection case (I normally do Child Protection) tell me to tell people to "Mind their own business" and "Go mop their floors!" Crazy, angry, old ladies are so cute.
5) Your 100th post had 101 items, which must mean you're a troublemaker. What's your most mischievous act?
I'm so flattered that you noticed, Muskrat! I'm not sure so I'll tell a couple of stories and let you decide.
One time I had this roommate who had a pink arm cast when I met him and insisted that men could and should wear pink. I disagree. Really. Unless you're gay or someone's paying you to wear it, please don't wear pink as a man. Thanks.
On April Fool's Day, I dressed his dog up in a jeweled tiarra and painted his toenails hot pink and put hot pink ribbons in his fur. I also put confetti in his snowboard boots and painted his car windows with hot pink waterpaint to say, "Pink: Its the new Black!"
I got a guy to do naked cartwheels and then sing "I'm a little teapot," while standing on his head with his knees on his elbows. There was no reward for this. It was neat.
My ex boyfriend kept stealing the covers. I went into his apartment one day and hid every item of bedding he owned in various cupboards and pantries throughout the place and left a ransom note from "The Blanket Monster."
It said in brief, that if he did NOT cease and desist stealing the covers, he would never see his sheets again. It included a mock police report.
I had a school prank war (when I was a teacher) that included such fun things as rearranging the keys on the keyboard, bungeeing doorknobs together, a dead mouse in some hand sanitizer, and something about a dead fish. Its a little fuzzy though. It may or may not have included me chasing the principal around with water balloons.
Want me to interview you? Provide an email address in the comments. If everyone who reads this blog asks, I'll write 20 interview questions! Whew! I think I can handle it.
Layers, So Many
1 day ago