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WE are not pregnant

I think the phrase "We're pregnant" is among the most ridiculous and irritating phrases. WE aren't anything. The man does not have to abstain from drinking, does not have to sleep 90 hours a week, does not purchase all new clothes that resemble tents, does not put cocoa butter anywhere on his body, nor does he GIVE BIRTH!

Its simple grammar:

I swim. He swims. We swim.

I ski. He skis. We ski.

I'm pregnant. He is pregnant. We're pregnant.

annoying pregnant

Annoying. Yuppies. Yipeee!

Wait a second... He cannot be pregnant. Therefore, WE cannot be pregnant. I am pregnant.

I have the gas, the swelling breasts, the weight gain, the sleepiness, the expanding uterus and the impending birth. "We're pregnant" is some caring and sharing, touchy feelie bullshit. Its akin to "we're in a bad mood today aren't we?"

Well fuck you, yes I am.
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Comments

  1. dollginaApril 28, 2009 at 8:33 PM

    Hey! Just cos you're the baby castle doesn't mean y'all aren't both having a bebe. 'We're pregnant' is the guy taking a little ownership and responsibility. Much better than 'muh bitch is knocked up.'

    Oooh wait--tell Rob to go around telling people 'we're knocked up'--that's much better.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kendra HollidayApril 29, 2009 at 8:09 AM

    If you go to one of those birthing classes one day and they pull out the pregnant belly for the menfolk to try on so they can empathize, will your man pass? I'm not sure I approve of that exercise, it's a bit insulting.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kendra HollidayApril 29, 2009 at 8:10 AM

    PS: I know what you do with sperm.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Auntie JooMay 2, 2009 at 12:37 PM

    I absolutely 100% without a doubt for sure hells yeah totally and completely concur with you, cousin. Is HIS ass spreading like the swine flu?? I don't think so.

    ReplyDelete
  5. BubbaJune 14, 2010 at 11:30 AM

    It's simple grammar?

    ReplyDelete

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