Computer Based Training

I started a job working at Social Services as a Child Protection Case worker. Before I can do much as a caseworker there's an asston of training beginning with the most hideously boring computer based training in the world. It must've been designed by atari in 1986, blech. I'd rather play pong with a drill attached to my head that bores holes in every time I miss a shot. Trepining? Sign me up!

Seriously, there are lessons and objectives you have to pass within the objectives. Some questions are mindless about cultural sensitivity and crap I've been doing since graduating from high school. While others have trick questions trying to trick you into caring about the difference between a state statute on risk assessment and a federal law regarding safety assessment. Ha! I still don't fucking care! And I got a 95% on that blipity objective.

However, two interesting things have popped up in the course of my training. The first was in the training on Domestic Violence. The training claims to find importance behind the reason for a man's wife beating and lists a few possibilities. You're job in this SCORED exercise is to determine which causes are actually possible. It lists growing up in a home where the man was exposed to violence and other equally understandable causes. But then it lists one I could NOT believe! I'm paraphrasing but it was something like, A cause of domestic violence could be the feminist movement's threatening of the male role in a relationship. This it claimed was correct. AAAAHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! If they could've, my feminist roots would've lifted up from the cement floor and bitch slapped straight through that computer screen to a portal on the other side of the state where some insecure imp wrote it.

The second from the substance abuse training, is much funnier. Word for word: One local expert states, "If you want to be awake for a test at 8 am, have a martini at 5 am," (Wanberg, 1998).

I knew there was a trick to getting up early.