“You mean I just put my mouth on your cockpump?”
“You got egg nog on my nutmeg. I’m not sure what it means, but I want it to mean something. It should mean something dirty.”
"People the world over have always been more impressed by the power of our example than by the example of our power."
"I had a dream that Barack was my boyfriend. I woke up very happy."
"She's easy. She's a funding hussy. Yeah!!! We love you funding hussy!"
"You'd be rubbing fecal matter into your back."
"Sometimes that can be soothing."
"It makes my brain's eyes cross and it breathe hard. But in a good way. My brain likes it."
"And as John McCain's speech enters its 10th hour, it can be said that we've learned a lot tonight. He was a POW. He is a maverick. And Sarah Palin can kill a moose with her bare hands. The only thing we don't know is whether he used Max Factor or Revlon.
And we've learned that Republicans like to boo."
"I've I hear about how she's a hockey mom one more time, I'm going to beat her across the face with a hockey stick."
And for a special Republican National Convention addition:
The best names I've heard for Bristol Palin's Baby
5. Abstinence Bogus Palin (Johnston)...or Bogus Abstinence Palin(Johnston)
4. Pariah or Neglec-Ted Palin
3. Judgment Absensia
2. Anne R. Ray Palin
and my favorite
1. Chastity Palin-Johnston