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Bitch, that's my "liquid o"

I might go to hell for calling it a parasite, especially since we haven't conceived "it" yet, at least that I know of. I just went off the pill and let me tell you! It makes essentially no difference in my daily life. I don't take a pill first thing in the morning now. YIKES! Now I have to try to remember a prenatal vitamin when I eat. Yeah, I was better with the pill.

I read some junk about ovulating. Most of it my mom told me when I was just starting my period. Just by the way, the word "discharge" is possibly the grossest sounding word in the English language. Why do guys get 'semen' which sounds like some exciting adventure and we get 'discharge'? Instead, the book I was reading wanted you to call it "cervical fluid," cuz that's way better.

Its totally better to be like, "Hey honey, its time to do it cuz the cervical fluids is aflowin'" Jesus, really?

How about "ovum juice" or "o jus" although that's probably way to close to "au jus" which might cause my husband to associate me with a roast beef sandwich which wouldn't be all bad with some men, but I just don't picture him being all "oh, really?" and cocking one eyebrow, excited like. Maybe "liquid o." That kinda sounds like some bourgie night club though. I don't know.

At any rate, we're trying and the good thing so far is it seems the first month off the pill, I'm already ovulating. That seems like a good sign.

Comments

  1. Just don't call it 'O J!!'

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  2. You ovulate when the cervical mucus (it isn't fluid or discharge, those are different) is the consistency of an egg white (stretches between 2 fingers). It provides the best environment for the sperm to swim in, ph and viscosity wise. The vag is an inhospitable place for the little suckers, they only get this one small break once every ~28 days. I like reproductive physiology, it's interesting, and it makes you feel a little bad for the sperm

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  3. Thanks, 'mucus' is totally better. Grandad never hacked that shit up in the morning or anything.
    BTW, what's with the egg white analogy? Its in a book I saw and you're the third person to say that. Maybe they should call makin babies, "whippin' egg whites"

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  4. I can't believe you are going to have a parasite! That is great news. You will be the best mommy in the history of mommies--way better than mine--wait--will you be my new mommy? I think I need one! YAY! Thanks! Great idea, Karin.

    PS I vote for OJ.

    ReplyDelete

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