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Friday Quotes!

Library Patron "So you went to SCHOOL to become a liberrian? Just to check out books and stuff?"
Librarian LOUDLY- "The book you ordered, WHAT WOMEN WANT, should arrive in a week, hopefully sooner."

"In 2nd grade some kid told me that boys had hot-dogs and girls had buns and the hot-dog went in the bun, so I was envisioning sex in completely the wrong way."

"This music sounds like whales raping each other."

"Dumping gatorade over someone's head is like a baptism, with electrolytes."

"(she hooked up with) an Argentinean...cultural nookie"
"Cultural nookie. That sounds like a good band name...or a nightclub name...'Cultural Nookie'"

"Why is your butt eating your underwear?”

"Sprechen Sie DICK?"

"I'm thinking of taking Stunt Cock in a different direction. Kinda like a christian gansta rap kinda thing. I already have some new song titles I'm working on...'Sunday Morning Drive-by' and '40 days, 40 nights, and 40 ounces'."
"I'm in Bro. What do you think about 'Virgin Mary Badunk-a-dunk' or 'Bling Cross' or 'This ain't no Crucifiction limp'"


And my favorite Facebook comment this week:
weird conception doll
"Here, I got this for you. If it doesn't help you conceive, I don't know what will. Except sex."

Comments

  1. That picture is creepy... I like it

    ReplyDelete
  2. There's an episode of MST3K where the character on screen is acting like a german a-hole and the crew comments...

    "Lichen sie me."

    ReplyDelete
  3. Cultural Nookie...what he failed to mention is that she is going to try a boy from every country in the world. Rob was worried about Somalia but she says pirates turn her on...


    Whatta ya gonna do?!

    ReplyDelete

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Friday Quotes!

"You may be unusually energetic today because your key planet Venus received an unexpected wake-up call from electrifying Uranus." "Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people you've never met--all of a sudden you take pride in accomplishments you had no part in whatsoever... " -Doug Stanhope "Drink that, DENVER!" Quiz Results: You are 48% mean "Is the junk yard dog losing her bite?" "Weak!" "F you Karin--your pretty face is going to HELL!" "Yeah it is, I might have had to spit on a homeless person but I got 67%" At the fireworks- "Where would patriotism be without the Chinese?" "The phrase 'I'm not racist but...' should just be replaced with 'I'm racist AND...'" "12 million homeowners and investors will be "underwater"--owing more than their property is worth." "I prefer up-side-down. Makes people sound like they've gone face...