Sorry, not so many this week. I didn't start until Wednesday. Oops.
"Anyone who would give a swimmer with a lung capacity like Michael Phelps' a drag on his bong is either stupid or very generous!!"
"If you hear meowing and can't find the cat, try the dishwasher."
"Don't answer your phone in the shower unless you are prepared to get a new one."
"Because of shim's facepaint I would call this weirdo...The John Wayne Gacy Drag Queen."
Nurse "Do you smoke anything else?"
guy "Yeah. I smoke pot."
Nurse "How much pot do you smoke?"
guy throws up hands "I'm a pothead, lady."
WTF, me. #solareclipse2017
1 day ago