Skip to main content

Memories, all drunk in the moon-light

I'm slightly embarrassed to admit this, but I did a Facebook memory posting. Sounds sappy right? No.

Here are my top ten of the responses, retold from my perspective.

10. (Dribbles) "You chasing me on all fours around Ox's fireplace." I have absolutely no doubt that this is completely true as he has a fireplace in the center of a round room. I also have absolutely no recollection of this.

9. (My brother-Speedmetal) "I guess I have to default to the story of hitting you in the head with a baseball bat. I was trying to learn to swing left handed and when the bat came around, THWOCK, there you were. I thought I crushed your skull or something and was in absolute hysterics. Mom heard the commotion and came out to the backyard. She looked at both of us unable to determine the problem and said, "Which one of you is hurt?""
baseball bat

8. (My cousin) "My 21st birthday." This was the first time she met my husband. We went to a fancy dinner and then my cousin proceeded to drink Rob and me under the table. At a drag show. The main performer had the lumpiest, hairiest, most disturbing, midget-sized boobs. Shim was disturbing like this week's Weirdo. I still hold the mental image of my husband and my angelic cousin bent over the bar, my cousin holding her gorgeous waist-length hair back, in order to pick up a blow job shot in their mouths and down it with the cutie, gay waiter.

7.(homie I met in Chile) I seem to recall that we led a surprise stealth attack on a Chilean stronghold armed only with an arsenal of snowballs." This actually involved us crouched behind a pile of snow, stockpiling snowballs and lobbing them into a hot tub. The military-like language may stem from us passing the poor 18 year old Chilean boys we passed as they attempted to learn to ski down steep terrain with heavy packs on their backs and no instructors. I think I'd known this dude for about 2 days.

6. (PPP) She bet my phone number against our bar tab and beat a 6'something guy in armwrestling. She ordered a round of nasty Tabasco sauce drinks and made the guy pick up the tab. Good times.

5. Erykah Badu brawl. :) While I'm not super proud of this one, its a pretty good and random story. Over time I definitely feel less guilty about punching that girl.

erykah badu lookin tough

4. (The Meghannest) "Put it in my mouth - Utah - on repeat!!!" We drove to Utah for a quick weekend at Alta. We listened to that song all the way there.
When we got there we stayed in the employee dorms and hopped from room to room during a party one night until we ended up in one room waking up cute twin boys and getting them to allow us to play that song while having a grape throwing contest. We aimed for the twins' mouths. We all won.

3. (High school friend) "Summer School, your cats and dogs, cat nip" We were taking a film class and for the final project we decided to focus on voiceover. We went to my house and video taped my cats on catnip and my dogs wandering around trying to get catnip out of their collars. In the voiced over version, the dogs were the pushers and the cats, the strung out drug addicts. During the course of our "work" we tried smoking the catnip out of a homemade pipe made out of aluminum foil and shaped by a pencil. We were fucking stupid. It may or may not have contributed to the fact that when we played the final video in class, the voiceover did not work.

2. "I remember you were jumping up and down doing a ski dance saying "I want it to snow, i want it to snow!" You were in a wedding dress. It was summer." This just makes my heart happy. My wedding was AWESOME!

1. And if this is not just the most telling:
My Mom: "Karin at the communion rail too young to commune, but ready for a blessing from the pastor. Hands folded, angelic face. Coulda sworn she had a halo until we got back to the pew and she walloped her brother. bye bye halo!!"

Comments

  1. I wish I would have been at the Badu brawl. That made me so happy on so many levels...

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Where'd the monkeys in my hair go?

I promise I will post Wednesdays' Weirdos again next week, but the pictures for this week got trapped on my camera with a dead battery. Sorry. I suck. Instead I'll tell you a drinking story. We were in St. Louis visiting for the holidays and a rare opportunity to get annihilated with my girlfriends presented itself. I started out with two beers while I was waiting for the girls with Rob's friends. Then, when we got to the fancy-pants bar I switched to whiskey on the rocks. I'm at sea level so I think I can drink like a champ. Hmmm. After about three of these and I-don't-remember-how-many shots, I switched back to beer. Damn, I'm bright. At some point in the evening I realize that we're in a bar that used to be my favorite bar in the whole world. It was called Tangerine then. They had Go Go dancers on the bar and let you climb on it and had hand shaped chairs so your butt got held. They had trucker night where you got your drinks in mugs. They ha...

Dear Book Pimp

So I wrote this book and I think it's pretty decent. That's the feedback I'm getting anyway, which is bitchin' really since I have a degree in Education, NOT writing. Plus, this is my first try, so really I should be happy, right? But, turns out writing the book is maybe the easy part. The publishing is another story. You have to find a Literary Agent. To do this, you have to write a 1-3 page letter to many literary agents to convince them to read a sample chapter. Send it with a Self addressed stamped envelope (SASE) and wait. there's more but I'm already experiencing a high level anxiety just writing about this part. In my letter, I'm supposed to explain who I am, what my book's about, why I'm qualified to write it, why its sicky illy good, who'll read it, and on and on. AHHHHHhhhhh! This shit scares me. Also, I'm supposed to be witty, clever, literary, and junk. Oh and explain a 300 page book in a sales pitch. I'm not a frea...

Past tense

I work with this really kickass lawyer. She's been all crazy over this guy lately. He worked for probation. Past tense. Did you see it? Over the weekend he killed himself. Enter past tense, the unwelcome jerk. And I feel soooo terrible. And guilty. Because I tried it to. I talked about it a little in this post . Try #17 and on. That's where I talk about it. A little. And now when someone kills themselves, I feel guilty. Like what I did when I was 17 somehow makes me responsible for everyone who ever does it. Like because I tried it, I should know how to fix it. But there are tons of recovering drug addicts that can't tell you how to get sober. There are great thinkers that can't explain their ideas. And the fact is, no one can explain suicide.