Thanks to all who sent me quotes to help fill in this week!
"Are you a shoe-whore?"
"How do you think I got pregnant?"
"Hey mom, when's the last time you drank a Schlitz?"
"Probably when I was about 4, sitting on my grandpa's lap."
"I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey"
"I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed."
"ahhh yes...slow motion dives, the textured vegetable protein of action films."
"Happily going running" an hour later "Not as happy when running behind the street sweeper. Wonder how much dog shit I just inhaled? That's like fertilizer for the baby right? Hopefully not baby DDT, more like baby roundup."
Best Swine Flu Tweets Courtesy of GRRB
"I've seen a number of young ladies wearing pigtails today....must be careful of swine flu."
"Ft Worth Dist closed their schools until further notice.Talk about hysteria.Close schools for a Swinus infection?"
"Trying to think what the next scary flu strain will be called. What's worse than swine? Hmm. Dead baby flu!!"
The National Nazi Epidemic of 2017
14 minutes ago