"I don't feel like I'm an ass on the war to progress. I mean, a wart on the ass of progress."
“I'd wear Jackie Stallone like a hockey mask.”
"Hey, it's the sun. It's been a while, cancer ball."
"The two women who always bring plastic bags to sit on just asked where the public restroom is."
“I make a special point of keeping my butt wet so I can use your towel.”
“I’d need a cold shower after that.”
“’COLD SHOWER!’ GIRLFRIEND, YOU GOT FINGERS, YOU DON’T NEED NO COLD SHOWER!”
"I love Steve Perry and throw my food, drinks, hair, etc. around as an act of almost ecstatic joy when I hear his power shrieks. I've actually renamed my lady part "Steve Perry" in homage."
"Put the toddler's clip-on earrings on. She screamed, "No! You're not a princess! Take them off!" Sexist."
"everything on hostel computer is in chinese. I just typed hotmao when signing in. I think my typing's racist."
Me "pierced nose feels like big booger that you're not supposed to touch."
PPP "you got your nose pierced? good shit"
Me "I also bought new shoes, am going to the hot springs and getting a massage, pedicure, and manicure. I'm going to do yoga and meditate and play my piano and be good to my body."
PPP "I think it would make you feel good to send me new shoes..."
Auntie Joo "I'm with PPP - I wear an 11N. Wait, did I just say that on facebook?"
Auntie Joo "I'm such a booger-picker - I could never have a nose piercing - it would drive me crazy. Wait, did I just say that on facebook..."
TBK "Yay Auntie Joo for announcing she's a nose picker! I want to be her friend now."