Skip to main content

Wednesdays' Weirdos: Trashy Winona

In high school on trash days, (when I wasn't too late/forgetful/groggy to remember,) I would roll the trash can down to the street before school and pull it back after school.

So one Monday of my junior year, I pulled the can to the street and then went to school. When I got home, I went to take it back behind the house, only to find the trash can was missing. I stood there perplexed for a moment, thinking, "I know I put it by the curb this morning. Where could it have gone?"

I checked behind the house to see if some nice neighbor had moved it back but it wasn't there. I looked at the next door neighbors' curbs to see if the trash men had put it by the wrong house. No luck there either. Weird. It was just gone. Trash cans don't just take off on their own, right?

trash can

Then weirder still was that 2 days later it showed back up by the curb. People tried to get me to worry about identity theft but nothing ever came of it. Ever. No one confessed, no one stole money from our bank accounts, and it never happened again.

Then, last week when Rob and I were cleaning the house, he asked me where the toilet brush was. I told him behind the toilet in one of the two bathrooms but he claimed it wasn't in either bathroom. I checked. And he was right. I looked all over. We cleaned the whole house. But its just gone. I have no idea how/why/where a toilet brush goes missing but there it is.

toilet brush

Making for this week's Weirdo: Trashy Winona (get it, cuz she's a shoplifter)
No idea why you'd want my trash or my toilet brush, but this weirdo did.

Comments

  1. さあ、今夏も新たな出会いを経験してみませんか?当サイトは円助交際の逆、つまり女性が男性を円助する『逆円助交際』を提供します。逆円交際を未経験の方でも気軽に遊べる大人のマッチングシステムです。年齢上限・容姿・経験一切問いません。男性の方は無料で登録して頂けます。貴方も新たな出会いを経験してみませんか

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Where'd the monkeys in my hair go?

I promise I will post Wednesdays' Weirdos again next week, but the pictures for this week got trapped on my camera with a dead battery. Sorry. I suck. Instead I'll tell you a drinking story. We were in St. Louis visiting for the holidays and a rare opportunity to get annihilated with my girlfriends presented itself. I started out with two beers while I was waiting for the girls with Rob's friends. Then, when we got to the fancy-pants bar I switched to whiskey on the rocks. I'm at sea level so I think I can drink like a champ. Hmmm. After about three of these and I-don't-remember-how-many shots, I switched back to beer. Damn, I'm bright. At some point in the evening I realize that we're in a bar that used to be my favorite bar in the whole world. It was called Tangerine then. They had Go Go dancers on the bar and let you climb on it and had hand shaped chairs so your butt got held. They had trucker night where you got your drinks in mugs. They ha...

Dear Book Pimp

So I wrote this book and I think it's pretty decent. That's the feedback I'm getting anyway, which is bitchin' really since I have a degree in Education, NOT writing. Plus, this is my first try, so really I should be happy, right? But, turns out writing the book is maybe the easy part. The publishing is another story. You have to find a Literary Agent. To do this, you have to write a 1-3 page letter to many literary agents to convince them to read a sample chapter. Send it with a Self addressed stamped envelope (SASE) and wait. there's more but I'm already experiencing a high level anxiety just writing about this part. In my letter, I'm supposed to explain who I am, what my book's about, why I'm qualified to write it, why its sicky illy good, who'll read it, and on and on. AHHHHHhhhhh! This shit scares me. Also, I'm supposed to be witty, clever, literary, and junk. Oh and explain a 300 page book in a sales pitch. I'm not a frea...

Past tense

I work with this really kickass lawyer. She's been all crazy over this guy lately. He worked for probation. Past tense. Did you see it? Over the weekend he killed himself. Enter past tense, the unwelcome jerk. And I feel soooo terrible. And guilty. Because I tried it to. I talked about it a little in this post . Try #17 and on. That's where I talk about it. A little. And now when someone kills themselves, I feel guilty. Like what I did when I was 17 somehow makes me responsible for everyone who ever does it. Like because I tried it, I should know how to fix it. But there are tons of recovering drug addicts that can't tell you how to get sober. There are great thinkers that can't explain their ideas. And the fact is, no one can explain suicide.