"I can see your little muscle shaking. Sorry. Your big scary, manly, makes-me-want-to -bone muscle."
"My body is built such that I don't know how clothes will work for me."
"I'm gonna have a soup taco."
"That would require quite the tortilla."
"Today I pretended like I didn't know what the word "sodomy" meant, so I asked Jehovah Witness people to tell me. Hee hee. They blinked a lot"
"For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage."
"When in Japan, do like the Romans..."
"and die of blowfish."
"I just want to have an Aphex Twin cover band, played all on the banjo. Its called Aphex Twang."
"Yes, I’m aware that the list of people I’d do is longer than the list of people I wouldn’t do but that doesn’t mean I’m a whore. It means I’m *agreeable*."
I pierced my nose this week and was quite pleased with myself for it. Here's the pic I posted on FB followed by the select funny comments made about said photo
TBK "You're like MEEEE!"
Me "Just imagine what I'll post next then!"
"cute huh? You look pretty skanky to me."
"wait till you pierce your john thomas"