Skip to main content

Friday Quotes!

"I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil."

"I'd much rather haz a swinus infection over beaver fever, ouch"

"You look like a fairy pirate."
"Yeah, I'm shiny and show them where to shoot."

"Do you need to be saved?"
"No I think I'm God"

"K has found another person with the same problem with boxcox- only questions and replies appear to be in French. An interesting challenge..."
""Boxcox" That sounds too personal for FB"
"Ah, not very. 'Boxcox' is willing to share very little with me. I can get a graph but cannot extract the values I need. Stingy jerk!"
"Tell him he better put out or get out."
"EWWWW- do not look up "box cox" on urban dictionary"
"Boxcox - 1 definition - [Oxycontin] that is stored in the vaginal cavity. It may be loose or in a box"

Kid Quotes:

"No, don't put the toothbrush in your privates. Yucky."

"You don't scratch people's faces, you scratch them in other places."

"You're not the boss of me mommy!"
"Yes, I am, cuz I can pick you up and put you where I want you." *Mommy thinks for a moment* (Just out of surgery) "Er... I guess I can have daddy pick you up and put you where I want you."
"Well, I'm the boss of you, because I can have daddy pick YOU up mommy."


These quotes are excerpts that made me laugh out loud on TBK's website. Shhhh, its about sex.


"You know those round spaceship doors that magically materialize and open, but if not activated, resemble an impenetrable wall of steel?
Well, my asshole is like that."

"I felt DRIED up down there, like I had sand in my butt. We had actually tried the lube out earlier for regular pussy sex, and it made me feel like a cunt cactus then, too."

"Second moral of story: Anal beads are the shit! Well, not exactly, but you know what I mean."

Labels

Labels:

Comments

  1. 逆円助July 4, 2009 at 3:15 AM

    さあ、今夏も新たな出会いを経験してみませんか？当サイトは円助交際の逆、つまり女性が男性を円助する『逆円助交際』を提供します。逆円交際を未経験の方でも気軽に遊べる大人のマッチングシステムです。年齢上限・容姿・経験一切問いません。男性の方は無料で登録して頂けます。貴方も新たな出会いを経験してみませんか

    ReplyDelete
  2. 人妻November 28, 2009 at 10:53 AM

    Hな人妻たちの社交場、割り切った付き合いも当然OK！欲求不満のエロ人妻たちを好みに合わせてご紹介します。即会い、幼な妻、セレブ、熟女、SM妻、秘密、以上6つのジャンルから遊んでみたい女性を選んでください

    ReplyDelete
  3. サイドビジネスNovember 29, 2009 at 9:47 AM

    1日5万円～が手に入るサイドビジネスのご案内です。男狂いのセレブ女性はネットで知り合った男を次々に金の力で食い散らかしています。そんな女性を手玉にとって大金を稼いでみませんか

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Where'd the monkeys in my hair go?

I promise I will post Wednesdays' Weirdos again next week, but the pictures for this week got trapped on my camera with a dead battery. Sorry. I suck. Instead I'll tell you a drinking story. We were in St. Louis visiting for the holidays and a rare opportunity to get annihilated with my girlfriends presented itself. I started out with two beers while I was waiting for the girls with Rob's friends. Then, when we got to the fancy-pants bar I switched to whiskey on the rocks. I'm at sea level so I think I can drink like a champ. Hmmm. After about three of these and I-don't-remember-how-many shots, I switched back to beer. Damn, I'm bright. At some point in the evening I realize that we're in a bar that used to be my favorite bar in the whole world. It was called Tangerine then. They had Go Go dancers on the bar and let you climb on it and had hand shaped chairs so your butt got held. They had trucker night where you got your drinks in mugs. They ha...
6 comments
Read more

Dear Book Pimp

So I wrote this book and I think it's pretty decent. That's the feedback I'm getting anyway, which is bitchin' really since I have a degree in Education, NOT writing. Plus, this is my first try, so really I should be happy, right? But, turns out writing the book is maybe the easy part. The publishing is another story. You have to find a Literary Agent. To do this, you have to write a 1-3 page letter to many literary agents to convince them to read a sample chapter. Send it with a Self addressed stamped envelope (SASE) and wait. there's more but I'm already experiencing a high level anxiety just writing about this part. In my letter, I'm supposed to explain who I am, what my book's about, why I'm qualified to write it, why its sicky illy good, who'll read it, and on and on. AHHHHHhhhhh! This shit scares me. Also, I'm supposed to be witty, clever, literary, and junk. Oh and explain a 300 page book in a sales pitch. I'm not a frea...
10 comments
Read more

Past tense

I work with this really kickass lawyer. She's been all crazy over this guy lately. He worked for probation. Past tense. Did you see it? Over the weekend he killed himself. Enter past tense, the unwelcome jerk. And I feel soooo terrible. And guilty. Because I tried it to. I talked about it a little in this post . Try #17 and on. That's where I talk about it. A little. And now when someone kills themselves, I feel guilty. Like what I did when I was 17 somehow makes me responsible for everyone who ever does it. Like because I tried it, I should know how to fix it. But there are tons of recovering drug addicts that can't tell you how to get sober. There are great thinkers that can't explain their ideas. And the fact is, no one can explain suicide.
6 comments
Read more